Three Christmas Poems From Downunder

 

(Thalia, Lucy, Ethel , Bert and Janet say Happy Christmas. Sadly Miss Bethel. Bert's kindy teacher, is unable to be with us. She passed away when Bert was a teenager. He has fond memories of her)

 

 

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

 

'Twas the night before Christmas

When I got his text

That Santa would visit me

'Round planet (convexed)

 

To explain....

 

Santa has now upgraded to mobile phone communication. Carrier pigeons kept getting lost.

 

From the North Pole he has to travel south to me. On a convex trajectory. Why sir? Our planet is a ball......They didn't teach that at school? They taught you the earth was flat? Santa would experience problems if that were so sir.....

 

To continue....

 

No longer is he guided

By stars (and lots of guess)

Tech reps have now caught up with him

And sold him GPS

 

I'm waiting here for Santa

It's three o'clock in morn

(I'm yawning now but never mind)

He said he'd come by dawn

 

Then just before I nodded off

He came through door (not chim)

Looking quite bedraggled

Lost his phone (with SIM)

 

I added two and two together

And yes, came up with four

Linda's house across the street

Had lights on, open door

 

Santa makes a special trip all the way each Christmas to see me.

I must mean something special to him.....

 

Don Matthews December 2019

 

 

The LMS Rollercoaster

 

Here comes their Rollercoaster

Rattling down the track

Hello? It's got no tinsel?

Tinsel does it lack

 

What sort of builder leaves tinsel off their roller at Christmas Eth?....

 

Maybe the cheap Chinese stuff was a bit limpy .....

 

He obviously didn't try Tesco... Top stuff Tesco. ... Non-limp sweat-shop free ...All the UK funfairs buy there.....

 

He's an Aussie Bert. They probably don't know about Tesco......

 

Did he look online?......

 

Dunno pet....Online?..that's a big word for you …..

 

Miss Bethel taught us that song...”Hang your washing out on line, It will dry quick smart, Take off line when it is dry, Here comes the nightcart”

 

She was a nice teacher Eth.....

 

 

Happy Snowflake Christmas

 

Happy snowflake Christmas

Wherever you've got snow

Downunder here in Adelaide

Ours melted long ago

 

Don Matthews December 2019

 

 

Don't eat too much Christmas pud....

 

 

 

Jools Holland UK and Edwin Starr US (died 2003)