Large bag of chips,

large arses and hips,

and large eyebrow slugs.

So many appliances,

but no large plugs?

 

Large fake tans,

large austerity plans,

and large Brexit stress.

No deal, referendum,

a TITANIC political mess.

 

Large vapour smoke,

large flavours to toke ,

and large girls are all the trend.

 

Mobility scooter highways,

and disabled parking pens.

Large fat cars,

large motorway scars,

and large smart traffic jams.

 

Mobile phones stuffed in

tight jean pockets like tins of spam.

 

Large lots of credit,

large food banks,

and large choice of media and apps.

 

TV licences now almost dead,

but still we pay for entertainment traps.

 

Large nails and dyes,

large scandals and lies,

and large amounts of charity shops.

 

Homeless population rises,

with mamba highs and spice zombie shocks.

 

It’s great to be in Britain.