A s t o n i s h i n g,

The lives I have kicked towards broken glass.

Good hearts, future men, unforgiven because I couldn’t forgive myself. 

Clouded judgement? Traumatized soul? Or a selfish existence. 

Who has the keen eye to decide, pass judgement on my sins.

Do they still hold the same value if they are justified?

 

And thus, the journey thru the rabbit hole of self worth ends with a brick wall, to break my fall.

Do I thank the wall? god? Is that you? Was I not meant to find my answers?

Or am I led to believe the next course of action is acceptance...

 

But broken Neurotransmitters lay about, unrooted carcasses resembling tumbleweed

Lay in my path, and the hills of put out cigarettes in my brain strain my wobbling legs.

A 17 year journey, to finally take a deep breath, seems somewhat a let down

Then again, I justified that sentence... 

 

• Cosmica