Not So White 

Little Snow White's daddy died 
Pretty girl cried and cried
Wicked Queen an ugly old tart 
Sent huntsman to take her heart

Huntsman took Snow for a ride 
But felt ever so guilty inside
Snow looked up and made her plea Huntsman said, ‘Go now! Be free’

He took his knife; he lit a cig 
Then cut heart out of a pig
Snow White ran he felt good 
She tripped over piece of wood

Snow White let out mighty grunt 
Then saw cottage out in front
Went for a nosey inside to see 
Found 7 beds upstairs did she

Got on one fell fast asleep 
Woke up saw kids having peep
With deep voice one then said 
‘Why are you inside my bed?’

Miss White shared her story so 
They let her stay but told her ‘No
Don't open door do not be seen 
Stay safe inside from wicked queen’

Off to work dwarfs did go 
Singing merrily hi ho hi ho
Queen said, ‘Mirror on the wall 
Who is fairest of them all?’

Mirror spoke ‘That would be Snow’ 
Wicked Queen yelled out ‘Oh no!
Huntsman lied I want him dead 
Bring his heart to me instead

She put his heart in boiling pot 
Added poison and watched it rot
She took an apple and rusty old pin 
Dipped into poison then pushed it in

Apple was ready looking good 
She got on horse and rode into wood
Dressed as old lady in hot pursuit 
To find Snow White to offer the fruit

Snow was mopping kitchen floor 
When she heard knock knock on door
The wicked Queen in her disguise 
Pulled wool over Snow White's eyes

Accepting apple she took a bite 
Fell to floor oh poor Snow White
Dwarfs returned from diamond mine 
Found door open was sure sign

All dwarfs shouted out ‘Oh no! 
Wicked Queen’s been to Snow?’
They couldn't face to bury lass 
So put her in coffin made of glass

In meadow birds were singing 
All around church bells were ringing
Handsome Prince heard of plight 
Came to see this young Snow White

Removing lid leaned in for kiss 
She opened eyes for him true bliss
Dwarfs sang round ‘Snow White's awake’ Wicked Queen was burned at stake

Handsome Prince proposed to Snow 
But surprisingly Miss White said ‘No
I can't marry you because of my sins, ‘Dopey's the dad! We're expecting twins’

By
William McKechnie