<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 23rd Oct 2017 08:35
Well done Tom, enjoyed reading this last week and good to catch up with it again here on the front page of WoL.
Comment is about 'Cooling Towers' by Tom is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
leah
Mon 23rd Oct 2017 00:58
REVIEW: JIMMY LEE AND OPEN MIC AT OCTOBER WRITE ANGLE
Jimmy's early experiences, shaped by deprivation and disruption, could have had him turn out any which way, yet his story is one that, whatever the world threw at him, he rose above it and thrived.
He's a great performer - telling Write Angle of the high and low points of his life but his songs tell it all. His lilting, melodious, natural delivery deals equally with hardship, nostalgia and sentiment. He captured all the feelings and wrapped them in tunes and words that had the audience engaged, empathising with each turn of fortune.
Burma Star told of his early childhood memories, full of hardship and change caused by his father's absence in Burma and the soldier's reaction to Jimmy's mother having a child while he was away - 'Never knew what fear or hate was until it came into my home'. In Hard Man, Jimmy finds a box of letters after his father's death and it contrasts the war damaged man with the sensitive youngster he was when he first went to the far east - 'Then I read his letters to his mum and dad from a frightened lonely soldier lad. From a red cross bed written while his wounds were healing'. At nine, Jimmy had an idyllic time with his playmate, Lucy Cartwright, riding with her on the crossbar of his 'bike without a saddle and a bell that did not work.' Only to have his romance come to an end when the Cartwrights suddenly moved away.
Jimmy joined the Navy at fourteen. No Flowers for Geordie tells of the death of his fellow trainee when they were sent to sea in the Suez campaign, and the harsh discipline at HMS Ganges - 'The 'bully boys' came nightly, did things a boy coundn't tell. But they made him write in his letters home: Mamma your boy's doin well'.
He was very well received by the audience, many of whom offered praise when they left. We'll be very keen to have him back. He has a lovely lilting voice- power and emotion with a strong range.
At the Open Mic, Chris Welch, new to Write Angle, read Martha Keys' Seeds of War and Seeds of Peace which talks of hope - 'maybe you could begin to believe peace can be as strong as the killing and the wrong we all have lived and died through'. Then, as a young boy, Colin Eveleigh played on the Portsmouth beach; in Munitions he explained how he collected shells left over from the war and had fun exploding them! - 'We tried to blow up a public toilet...'.
Phyllida Carr took Another Journey on the Bike, telling of riding to East Meon 'when the autumn day turned into night' as hurricane Ophelia came to Hampshire. Your reviewer read his Typhoons and hurricanes, about the 1987 hurricane that struck 'England's green and pleasant land'. Jilly Funnell's poem, Feather, dealt with her enthusiasm for the glamour and sequins of Strictly Come dancing – 'I want a partner called Evan with snow on his shoes. Who'll teach me the steps and the spins to use'. Her You Make Love a Slow Train poignantly told of unrequited love, while All the Way to America told of another enthusiasm.
In Scarsdale Switch, Leah told of commuters bound for the city 'in slim trim pinstriped suits classic skirts and gucci bags....' contrasted with the 'weary faced, bleary eyed, in woolie hats, worn torn coats... maids arriving to clean in 'the big houses hidden in lush greenery'. Then, To those who leave to Find Themselves – 'even artists on the roam from time to time, return to bring their dirty washing home'. And, In Eveready, another tale of unrequited love: 'Maybe there'll be even someone. Almost anyone would do. Someone who is always there. Who wants me just as I want you?'
Jezz played and sang Counting Crows' Gonna Get Back to Bases - 'But we only stay in orbit for a moment of time and then you're everybody's satellite. I wish that you were mine' and Tom Petty's You Don't Know How it Feels - 'There's somewhere I gotta go and you don't know how it feels. No, you don't know how it feels to be me'.
The raffle sponsor was Fez, Petersfield's great Turkish restaurant and a new-comer to Write Angle won the £45 voucher. We hope they'll come back and tell us about their experience.
nd next month, the irresistable Attila the Stockbroker takes to the stage and of course, once again, the Open Mic is there for everyone to take part and share in the entertainment! Every month another star. Always different but always great!
Jake Claret
Review is about WRITE ANGLE POETRY & MUSIC +OPEN MIC on 17 Oct 2017 (event)
Mine was Nottingham Forest v Tottenham. I am from Nottingham but am a Tottenham fan. Thanks for commenting, Philip.
Comment is about ...but lost to Huddersfield (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
The first full match i went to was liverpool v Huddersfield... night match i think...back in the early seventies...the old first division
Comment is about ...but lost to Huddersfield (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
As a lamp post light flickers on
mistaken for the sun.. tis the world we live in
Comment is about Now That's What I Call War On Terror Music (Volumes 22-33) (blog)
Original item by Suki Spangles
Thank you very much Hannah, glad you could put up with my dubious delivery ... dulcet tones there not but all heart felt
Comment is about The Bedsit (blog)
Original item by Phils Words
Thank you guys, means a lot..
Comment is about Multi coloured drum (blog)
Original item by Phils Words
<Deleted User> (18118)
Sun 22nd Oct 2017 20:15
Such a brave woman, I wish her every success.
Hannah
Comment is about Poet gives first reading after accident that left her in brace with broken back (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Well, I thought you were a lapsed Catholic...
Comment is about Martin Thinks I'm Catholic (blog)
Original item by Linda Cosgriff
<Deleted User> (18118)
Sun 22nd Oct 2017 19:07
'We're part of the tapestry'.
Brilliant poem.
Hannah
Comment is about Sum (blog)
Original item by Rich
<Deleted User> (18118)
Sun 22nd Oct 2017 19:05
<Deleted User> (18118)
Sun 22nd Oct 2017 19:03
Poignant. So well described I could see the images.
The last line very important.
Hannah
Comment is about The Bedsit (blog)
Original item by Phils Words
<Deleted User> (18118)
Sun 22nd Oct 2017 18:58
very good Philip, love the overall rhythm of the piece. it works well, particularly with that last word. Silence!
Nice one
Comment is about Multi coloured drum (blog)
Original item by Phils Words
I like the turn and use of words with this, but can't help feeling there should be more. or maybe that is your intention to eave the reader wanting more. Just a thought.
But I like it none the less.
Comment is about Poem in Progress E (blog)
Original item by MyDystopiA
you had me with the opening lines here Adam.
Nice one
Comment is about Butterfly (blog)
Original item by Adam Whitworth
A marvellous poem that says so much with so few, but as has been said poignant words.
Comment is about Aristocratic Impulse (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
This is a cracking poem Tom. I love the whole metaphor around the cooling towers connected with steam and water.
Thinking on
all those bad miles behind me
is such a good link to the poem
Marvellous stuff sir, congratulations on POTW
Comment is about 'Cooling Towers' by Tom is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
What a fantastic piece Linda, we feel your panic, your pain and your joy as you lead us through the initial challenges of starting your course. Hang in there, we are all proud of you and know you are going to go from strength to strength.
Comment is about Learning to write better poetry - and having a drink - with Carol Ann Duffy (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Some poems I just have to put somewhere before I burn them. Sorry WOL ?
Happily there's only a small backlog of ones like this, and they'll run out soon enough.
Comment is about Sorcerer's Apprentice (blog)
Original item by Eric Maynard
I appreciate the theme of someone who is reluctant to pass through an open door. It stands the convention of "progress" and success on it's head, and forces the reader to consider what it means to refuse an invitation, and why we might. Thank you for sharing.
Comment is about Closed Windows (blog)
Original item by Erica
I appreciate the many symmetries in this; the salt tears of the narrator on the beach like the salt waves of the ocean, and the way the last lines carry us gently away, like the tide going out.
It captures well the feeling of releasing of some unspoken grief to the elements, which is so primal. Thanks for sharing.
Comment is about Away (blog)
Original item by Lan
second stanza got me too, very lyrical.
Comment is about Handspan (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
Your bio says you're a songwriter, and this would make a great song.
Comment is about Own Devices (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
This is subtle, I find myself reading and re-reading it to work down through the layers. The language is sparse, poignant, and beautiful. There are some really heart wrenching turns of phrase for me, like "it's the waste that doesn't scrape off your plate". There are some nice reversals, like "more than you can share" that hit nicely. It feels very well constructed.
The context is tenuous, yet it all seems very familiar. I am forced to work hard to get closer to wherever you were when you wrote it. I end up being where I am and reflecting, and I think that's a hallmark of good writing. Thank you for sharing.
Comment is about Aristocratic Impulse (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
Lovely poem and an excellent subject. I really like this one.
Comment is about Three Wishes (blog)
Original item by Erica
You may burn and rave...but make sure you keep writing
Comment is about Burn and Rave (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
There is a sort of other worldliness in this Karen. Transcendant - and what you describe seems to reveal a kind of acceptance , a maturity regarding what may be inevitable. There is such a lovely round and lyrical feel to the poem. (I'm enjoying your book !)
Ray
Comment is about And We Begin (blog)
Original item by Karen Ankers
Stand out stuff Laura. Hell is respect and if etiquette still exists it ain't here . A cracking poem and i'm sure will massively effective in a live reading, but then you know that!
Ray
Comment is about Burn and Rave (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
The grinning fool shrugged "i dont know what it is but i liked it"
Comment is about Wonderland Nightmare (blog)
Original item by Jacklyn Turner
Interesting how lines can be like lyrics - an idea that fills me with trepidation . I think maybe as I thought of the first line it just seemed to flow so off I went to pad it out. Thanks Suki.
Cheers Col. I feel elevated and I know you like songs from the heart; thanks for the clip. Funny being a muso I can't marry words to music readily. Appreciate it all the more.
Uplifting thoughts Laura, thanks. Salvation awaits for those with determination and individual guts - some of us do get stuck in a previous experience and don't move on .
You make a serious point Eric thanks. Often a victim needs a victor to make a pair. Then again, the roles can be reversed by self examination and rise again! My brother when his marriage broke up said he thought relationships were based on mutual neuroses.... i'll leave that one with you!
Stu, sounds like you appreciate the predicament - shining armour a bit of a fallacy all round!
David, God forbid - me manipulating words for effect? How dare I, - but then again..... Thanks pal.
Many thanks also Tom for your liking!
love to all you lovely contributors. Ray
Comment is about LOOKING BACK (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Mishal Das
Sat 21st Oct 2017 19:07
Beautiful lines my dear...??? so beautiful??
Comment is about ~HOME FARAWAY~ (blog)
Original item by priyakhi barbara
Stu - a beautiful representation of inevitability. A bird's eye view of mankind's trudge toward godlessness. As an atheist, I say its about time too. You capture the final defiant fight so well I am envious of your words. Thanks for this one.
Rob
Comment is about death poem (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Hi Stu,
It really isn't easy to write a poem about this subject ~ so many pitfalls, but this is excellent.
The last verse, to my mind, is as good as anything you have written. Nice one, and thanks for sharing!
Suki
Comment is about death poem (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Thanks Stu, glad you liked it, always worth digging out your old Gong
Comment is about Acid mothers Temple, Lewes, 18/10/17 (blog)
Original item by David T Jones
Hahahaha. Laura you have just climbed to top of the table as my favourite anarchist.
Go girl.
Raj
Comment is about Burn and Rave (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Well someone had to do it!
Makka Pakka Akka wakka Mikka makka moo!
Makka Pakka Appa yakka Ikka akka ooo.
Hum dum
Agga pang In gang ooo.
Makka Pakka Akka wakka Mikka makka moo!
(The Night Garden)
Comment is about A silly ditty... not by me! (blog)
Original item by mike booth
And one of my favourites...
There's holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in
But they're ever so small
That's why rains so thin.
:-)
Comment is about A silly ditty... not by me! (blog)
Original item by mike booth
Follow your dream Linda follow your dream and leave those begging letters in the recycling bin till you are well on your way!
Comment is about Learning to write better poetry - and having a drink - with Carol Ann Duffy (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
love it! fuck going down without a fight!
Comment is about Burn and Rave (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
wonderful. my first ever gig was the grateful dead when i was 10. i never quite recovered, and camembert electrique by gong is being dug out tonight just to be able to read this while listening.
Comment is about Acid mothers Temple, Lewes, 18/10/17 (blog)
Original item by David T Jones
lovely words ray. blast those handsome knights and their unfulfilled promises!
Comment is about LOOKING BACK (blog)
Original item by ray pool
lovely stuff. i read this under a depressingly grey welsh sky but your words transported me exactly where you wanted them to
Comment is about The Eye of Morning (blog)
Original item by Chris Hubbard
Hi Helen
As Graham said above, the poem has charm. Also the reader is transported immediately to that experience. We can imagine being there. Reminds me of the days when I used to go fishing in Portugal except we took wine. Well done!
Comment is about 'How to Catch a Fish in the Solent' by Helen Elliott is Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I really enjoyed this. I agree with Laura's comments; for me it feels like watching someone maturing, getting ready to cast off the social "training wheels" that guide our first efforts at relating to people, and it easily evokes that sort of disappointed frustration that it's so easy to feel looking back on my own mistakes.
Reading it, a thought came to mind of a companion poem, written from the perspective of the handsome knight. What have they both lost? Were they both using and being used? Thoughtful stuff, and fluent.
Comment is about LOOKING BACK (blog)
Original item by ray pool
<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 23rd Oct 2017 08:58
*let's out sigh of deep satisfaction* You had me tramping the fields and footpaths of the South Downs above Shoreham with this one Martin.
It's a beautiful poem of the man retracing the footsteps of the boy and the farting rasping blade of grass between the thumbs is just pure joyfulness. I still do it and it still gives me great satisfaction to control the vibration from fart to high pitched scream.
Great stuff in every line, you know how to put a smile on this boy's face. Cheers, Col.
Comment is about Tramping (blog)
Original item by Martin Elder