Tiffany - I can imagine this as a soul or R&B song. It does evoke a feeling of a woman pouring her heart out at the recent loss of her man. You should break it down into verses and add a chorus and you'd have a hit.
Rob
Comment is about Stay (blog)
Original item by Tiffany
Chris - one of my 'favourite' subjects and one that I share on a regular basis. Getting thoughts down in writing definitely is cathartic. Stay strong mate.
Rob
Comment is about On The Edge (blog)
Original item by Chris Briggs
Chris - I really like the concept of this piece but think it would have more flow with a bit of editing. Too many 'the's' for my mind makes it a bit staccato. Hope you don't mind me saying!
Rob
Comment is about Male Bonding (blog)
Original item by Chris Briggs
very nice ray. few graceful words, a whole landscape of meaning
Comment is about THE REFUGE OF BEAUTY (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Jeremy - not sure whether Samantha is a doll or a troll, but Brian obviously found some motivation! Haha I'm loving your work.
Rob
Comment is about modesty (blog)
Original item by jeremy young
Thanks Rob, exactly my thoughts and you've picked up on the wider issue, appropriately.
Cheers. Ray
Comment is about THE REFUGE OF BEAUTY (blog)
Original item by ray pool
You were missed, so please get well soon.
Comment is about Three Write Out Louds at once: Sale Tues, Marsden Weds, Middleton(Rochdale) Sun. (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
a good way to wake up - with a chuckle. nice read jeremy as ever and nice to see an out and out humorous poem!
Comment is about modesty (blog)
Original item by jeremy young
This is lovely Mr C! I particularly like
Let your hair be a tapestry of my words
That's a beautiful image xx
Comment is about Monsoon winds (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Very discriptive and full of imagery. I like it:) keep it going!
Comment is about A night in between the sheets (blog)
Original item by Tiffany
Ray - I can appreciate the idea of nature's beauty as a form of panacea. She gives without expectation and we, in our ingratitude or greed, usually manage to f*** up the environment in return.
Good piece this. I like it a great deal.
Rob
Comment is about THE REFUGE OF BEAUTY (blog)
Original item by ray pool
The April Rainers, somewhere over the railings.
Comment is about The April rainers rainbow.jpg (photo)
Original item by Steev Burgess
Perhaps I need to be more aware of your subject source.
Or not.
I think this poem is beautiful, entirely on its own merits of thought and poetic execution, a pleasing joy to read. And mysterious; as it must be, trying to express the un-express-able.
You are a fascinating woman.
Comment is about The Temptation of St Anthony (blog)
Original item by Katy Megan
So sorry to have missed Sale WOL last night, to welcome the new comperes. And Julian. Thank you for coming forward, allowing us to continue with this venue. I was very unwell, and might have infected you all with this nasty flu. I'm looking forward to February.
Comment is about Three Write Out Louds at once: Sale Tues, Marsden Weds, Middleton(Rochdale) Sun. (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
Thank you Martin - it's one one of my favourites too! xx
Comment is about Unravelling ...... (blog)
Original item by Pixievic
Those hypocrites that go shopping in Londons West End and New York, use all the freedom as diplomats to go to clubs and restaurants, to behave frivolously and use all the fineries the western world has to offer are the same diplomats that go home to places such as Saudi Arabia and persecute the free spirited citizens that have poetry in their hearts
Comment is about Sentenced to death for writing poetry (article)
Original item by Frances Spurrier
Tue 19th Jan 2016 22:47
Good one; hinting at deep feelings or strong principles, but in general, impersonal.
Comment is about Singing Along To All Those Torch Songs (blog)
Original item by Tom
There is some wonderfully rich description here Vicki. i love the line 'in a kaleidoscopic tide of emotion Spewing it's entrails' marvellous stuff
Comment is about Unravelling ...... (blog)
Original item by Pixievic
This is very good jeremy it has real feel of a folk song and very cleverly composed. nice one
Comment is about into the woods (blog)
Original item by jeremy young
I love the line
My soul is stilled in deep motion - nice x
Comment is about Light within the Dark (blog)
Original item by Patrick Rushe
That I shall Mr C - sound advice! x
Comment is about Open Heart Surgery (blog)
Original item by Pixievic
Poor Tom! I like the listing - simple & effective x
Comment is about not Bill (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Liked the lyric and the build up thru to the last line .
Comment is about not Bill (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Liked the lyric and the build up thru to the last line .
Comment is about not Bill (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Reading poetry at Y Tuesday Poetry club.
Comment is about Steev Burgess reading at Y Tuesday in Clerkenwell. (photo)
Original item by Steev Burgess
Temple of love bringing with it
two of yearning that want
everything to stay just as it is
but sadness beckons.
Comment is about Anthony and Katypatra (blog)
Original item by Katy Megan
Vic, beware guests bearing their own cutlery. Tommy
Comment is about Open Heart Surgery (blog)
Original item by Pixievic
Lynn Hamilton
Tue 19th Jan 2016 13:19
Martin & Vicky. Thank you. x
Comment is about How Do You Do? (blog)
hi ian, reading it in a whole new 'light' now. very clever. a sad week indeed.
Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
I like this, particularly the first sentence. The second sentence not so good, nor the 'but' in the third sentence.
Comment is about (blog)
Original item by Frances Spurrier
Thanks for the kind comments on 'The Dark & The Light' Stu - apologies for my slow response - not been on the site much recently. Yes - he was thought to be indestructible - which just goes to show that we are all frail things really. Not sure if it got across the fact that his light was chasing Lemmy's darkness down the road of death - but he was equally iconic and, in some cases, seemed even more invulnerable. A sad week for rock music indeed.
Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)
Original item by Stuart Buck
have just booked a place on 'poetry as controlled explosion'. how can you resist a name like that!
Comment is about Arvon course programme announced (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
Full moons in the sun set - I like that x
Comment is about Grey Clouds in the Sunrise (blog)
Original item by Leorah Rohnaz
A true comment on a social affliction in the 90s - I like the way you tale off at the end X
Comment is about Anaesthetic Substitute (blog)
Original item by David Addington
Hi! Thanks for your comment on my profile - I'm thrilled you like my words! I shall take some time to get to know yours! Yes have a trawl through FB obviously there's a lot of cross over - I've only got so much poetry in me ;-) thanks again - Vicki xx
Comment is about David Addington (poet profile)
Original item by David Addington
Good stuff Phil. Magic Liverpool.
Comment is about Phil Ireland (poet profile)
Original item by Phil Ireland
It's defo about toy soldiers but when I was 25/26 with friends of same age and we were all unemployed and got into table top games for a time. I was always attracted to Napoleonic history and little plastic men so it grew from there. Painting their uniforms. The first draft of this poem was just about history, but corny, so I adapted it to represent the games we played drunk and wrecked on other things and visits to war games. The last lines are meant to be ambivalent and confuse. Gentlemen officers were us crew and the last line is something we often thought about - wars becoming games to save life.
It still needs a bit of ork.
Comment is about A box of mini soldiers, some dice and Sean Bean (blog)
Original item by David Addington
love your poetry style pixie. I hear a bit of me in some places with the way you do the incident poems and events. Love it. Also found your facebook page. I will read more. Love the new year poem and the man in supermarket.
Comment is about Pixievic (poet profile)
Original item by Pixievic
Thanks for the great comments guys and gals. Yes, a simple but effective image after visiting my mum (who's in temporary home in Keswick), and seeing the aftermath of the flood.
Comment is about After the flood in the Lakes (blog)
Original item by David Addington
Thanks for the comment Wolfgar. Could alter the end line but the idea of changes break hearts from the loss seems more potent, although, makes and breaks could easily go together.
I will check your poetry out as I need to spend more time looking at people's work on here.
Cheers
Comment is about David Bowie (blog)
Original item by David Addington
So true. Well observed. I love the increasing accumulation of the sounds.
Comment is about First Walk with Hearing Aids (blog)
Original item by David Lindsay
Beautiful cameo from the Irish legend.
Comment is about Jean Atkin (poet profile)
Original item by Jean Atkin
Thanks to all you youngsters who appreciated.
I must stop opening with a flourish... it is becoming something of a habit... or at least I must see if I can find an equal flourish to finish!.
Comment is about Young and wrinkly (blog)
Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson
thank you Vicki and Ray for your comments, appreciation and suggestions! Really appreciate. The poem was a sudden 5 minute outburst of emotions. Din't check so much...sorry if it lacks some content!! Will keep it in mind next time!!! Vicki...damn right!!! Haha..thanks that you could relate to the 'skin underneath the vessel' ;) :) :)...
Comment is about Lazy Evening (blog)
Original item by Rims
thank you stu
though i think you give me a little too much credit on this one. it's terribly uncohesive.
thank you for reading :)
Comment is about flirt (01/16/2016) (blog)
Original item by Zach Dafoe
this is great. its a chemical nightmare and a denied orgasm all in one.
gave us pornography and zoloft
with a knowing tussle of our hair
how true.
this whole thing rings my bells. love it.
Comment is about flirt (01/16/2016) (blog)
Original item by Zach Dafoe
raypool
Thu 21st Jan 2016 17:16
Many thanks Stu. Much appreciated.
Comment is about THE REFUGE OF BEAUTY (blog)
Original item by ray pool