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Vicki Ayers

Wed 13th Jan 2016 19:01

Haha! Well .... It a little known pub called The Golden Cock - Doncaster I believe!!

Comment is about Nice Try ....! (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

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Martin Elder

Wed 13th Jan 2016 18:39

Hi M.C.
I still have memories of the Jacques lossier trio playing that familiar piece of Bach. On high days and holidays I would occasionally switch to king edwards cigars. You are of course right about having a pint with a hamlet, very nice!
i have occasionally trolled through some of the old adverts on you tube. I think my favourites were probably the late Leonard Rossiter and Joan Collins in the cinzano ad's

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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John Coopey

Wed 13th Jan 2016 18:16

Thanks, Vicki. Perhaps you'll rub that writing off the wall now?

Comment is about A PEKING SPICE ODDITY (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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John Coopey

Wed 13th Jan 2016 18:15

...and they're smaller too! Wagon Wheels used to be the size of, well - wagon wheels.

Comment is about POUNDS (NO SHILLINGS) AND PENCE (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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John Coopey

Wed 13th Jan 2016 18:10

I recognise myself in this, Vicki. But which wall is it? I should paint over it.

Comment is about Nice Try ....! (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 13th Jan 2016 18:08

Heartfelt and greatly touching in universality. Well crafted too in great old-fashioned metre and rhyme.

IMO, the third verse could easily be omitted, giving the last stanza an eye-watering punch, leaving the 'now' aspect entirely open to reader interpretation. Just a thought. Great poem to cast off 2015.

Comment is about I DREAMT YOU WERE LITTLE AGAIN (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Vicki Ayers

Wed 13th Jan 2016 18:07

Very true Stu & nicely succinct! x

Comment is about Empathy (blog)

Original item by Stu Burton

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Vicki Ayers

Wed 13th Jan 2016 18:04

Oh John this is priceless & your delivery perfect!! Thank you you've made me smile!! xx

Comment is about A PEKING SPICE ODDITY (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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John Coopey

Wed 13th Jan 2016 18:03

Thanks for the thumbs up, MC.
Stu - Yes, a Chinese Take-away song really was a hole in his portfolio. And who wants to hear about an astronaut anyway?

Comment is about A PEKING SPICE ODDITY (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Stu Buck

Wed 13th Jan 2016 17:35

this is brilliant, especially the audio. ive waited literally hours for a david bowie/chinese take away crossover, and dreams do come true, you rhymed egg foo yung.

Comment is about A PEKING SPICE ODDITY (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Stu Buck

Wed 13th Jan 2016 17:31

thanks cynthia! i looked at this again earlier today actually and i like it more than i did. yes, i paint, although i am not an artist. i just enjoy the process. creating something, be it writing or painting, is really rewarding.

Comment is about manifesto (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 13th Jan 2016 17:08

Nice bow-out of the year. I also like the 'structure', a fresh form of the 'list poem', a type that always enjoys popularity. I really like the scope of material used.

So you paint as well. Creativity tends to be in multiple arenas, doesn't it? If you have it, you've got to work it.

Comment is about manifesto (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 13th Jan 2016 16:57

I want to get back to this, Katy. Very interesting. Needs both my time and clear attention.

Comment is about The Temptation of St Anthony (blog)

Original item by Katy Megan

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 13th Jan 2016 16:44

There's always space for an oddity as tasty as this!

Comment is about A PEKING SPICE ODDITY (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Bob Hill

Wed 13th Jan 2016 16:32

A cold Tuesday night in early January and we get a packed first Poetry on the Spot of the year; so much so the emergency chairs had to come out.
Liz Magee and Carrie Carrie were brilliant POTS Players and improvised poems from prompts which included 'your eyes are covered with German tomatoes'. Guest Poet Peter John Cooper was on top form and the audience's contributions to a David Bowie inspired pair of crowd sourced poems were well thought out. Paul Canon Harris and Bob Hill Poet and Author are two very grateful hosts.
Brilliant choons and sound from Conrad Barr topped it off.
Next month we are back at Chaplins & The Cellar Bar on the 9th of Feb with guest poet Kim West and POTS Players tba.

Review is about Poetry on the Spot on 12 Jan 2016 (event)

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 13th Jan 2016 16:24

Re. "Smoke Room" - and Hamlet cigars. Not only do I recall
smoking them with a pint but somewhere I have a VHS
tape comprising the collection of the famous TV ads.
My own favourite is the jockey left in the starting stalls...
a ready reckoner for so much that happens - or doesn't - in life!

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

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raypool

Wed 13th Jan 2016 15:26

Thanks Wolfgar, well I do have beliefs , though exactly what they are is really to do with intuition with other layers added in. Your point is a perfectly valid one! I suppose this could apply to any incarceration or an abuse of freedom. We need to value it when we have it.

Interesting thanks, Stu. I try to use black humour as an entrée into forbidden areas, and hopefully it may hit a spot. The great thing with the original is the suspension of the final line throughout . Mine is a countering of that fulfilment. A bit like jazz that toys with a theme, or in your case, a starter that teases the palate!!

Comment is about IF (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Martin Elder

Wed 13th Jan 2016 14:55

Thank you all so much for your kind comments. This was inspired by a pub a few miles away from where I live that is now being refurbished , as what I am unsure but on one of the windows it bears the words' smoke room' etched into the frosted glass. This began to set my mind thinking about times even before I was around ! but also when I used to smoke hamlet cigars, cue - music ( for those who may remember the advert)

Comment is about Smoke room (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

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Stu Buck

Wed 13th Jan 2016 11:26

brilliant ian. i was devastated when i heard the news and still am now. as i said to my dad, everyone dies but for some reason i never felt bowie would. i felt the same when john peel died, days after i met him for the first (and only) time, after listening to his show every night for a decade. anyway, this is a moving and fitting tribute. you have really captured the changing faces of the man, and also the eccentricity. he was way ahead of his time, and most other times, and you have captured that too.

Comment is about The Dark & The Light (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

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Stu Buck

Wed 13th Jan 2016 11:19

i found myself reading this a few times. i like the way it takes something so often wrote about and, while staying true to the intimacy and physicality of the moment, broadens the theme using clever language and movement.

Roaring, splashing, noise and colour

Weaving an electric tapestry

this is so sensory and visceral. puts an entirely different slant on it.

The moist upon her lip

i have read so many poems with the line 'her moist lips' but 'the moist on her lips' i love. subtle difference but intriguing.

Forever passes one to the other

i love the way this strays from the intimate and portrays the infinite (poetic myself i must say). i try to do this in my poems, go from personal to spiritual or small to enormous.

it also has an intriguing ending, with hints of sadness.

gets me thinking, is she still alive? is there something here beyond a mere kiss?

really enjoyed this. its mysterious and sensuous and just plain good.

Comment is about Forever (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

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Stu Buck

Wed 13th Jan 2016 11:11

very funny and clever. I also wrote a poem once about mr dawkins drinking tea, how strange. he's a funny figure, someone that has turned atheism, something i practice, into something that people dislike due to his personality. he has always come across as arrogant and pompous to me. each to their own of course!
double kudos for the word proscenium, which i havent heard since i studied a bit of greek history. wonderful.

Comment is about Taking Tea with Dawkins (blog)

Original item by jeremy young

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Stu Buck

Wed 13th Jan 2016 10:44

this is great ray. it signals the return of angry ray, or 'red ray' as you are known in my office (just me in here mind you...).

i actually found this kicked me in the gut at the end. its a really controversial topic but you've dealt with it well.

my wife's mum works with people who are deaf/dumb/blind and it seems like everyone she works with are in constant turmoil at the idea of them a) living or b) dying. one of the toughest choices there is i think.

love the original poem as well. if any of us ever write anything a fifth as good we will be quids in i think. well maybe not quids in. but we are guaranteed comments damnitt!

Comment is about IF (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Frances Spurrier

Wed 13th Jan 2016 10:41

Yes I agree and part of that memorability is an instinct for the natural rhythms of the language which this poet certainly seems to have.

Comment is about And the winner is .... (article)

Original item by Frances Spurrier

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Stu Buck

Wed 13th Jan 2016 10:33

david this is very powerful and clever. the tapering of the verses is like a countdown to the event, and the way you have altered the lines to blur the edges works really well. it reminds me of a villanelle in the way it reuses lines (albeit altered). its excellent. this is a compliment, not a criticism, but i could of read much more. it ended too soon for me. but maybe thats the point, maybe that mirrors the theme. either way, great stuff.

Comment is about I Was Just Thinking About You... (Blue Mosque Istanbul 12/01/16 10:40 am) (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 12th Jan 2016 17:54

A memorable evocation of the pubs and clubs of another
time - when they served as a refuge from an unfriendly
and inhospitable world beyond the ornate frosted glass.
How often I recall seeking my place at the bar, letting
the door swing shut behind me as if I was escaping
"through the looking glass" - to be greeted by the burr of
conversation and the smell of that welcoming oasis of
alcohol and fug where all were created and met as equal.
You can't properly explain how it was but these lines are
as near as anyone will get. Thank you, Martin.

Comment is about Smoke room (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 12th Jan 2016 17:40

The only poetry to "change British poetry" will be that with
content and lines that linger for us to remember and which serve to replenish our experience of the common human condition to reach out to the generations that come after us here in the land of Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Hardy
and many others whose work did - and does - exactly that.

Comment is about And the winner is .... (article)

Original item by Frances Spurrier

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 12th Jan 2016 17:15

Hi Stu -
I appreciate your kind affirmation on my profile page.
I came to creative writing late in life after a career
in public service but quickly found it to be a very
worthwhile outlet in both words and music - choosing to
self-finance work where thought useful...with rewarding
results on a personal level that now see a move into
more commercial creative possibilities.
Follow your muse and - as the lyric from the great US
lyricist Johnny (Moon River) Mercer tells us: Accentuate
the positive, Eliminate the negative.
As for criticism, if it offers constructive comment about
incorrect use of spelling, grammar, punctuation and
and perhaps presentation, it is worth heeding. The rest
is subjective and "critics" can often be guided by their
own prejudices when commenting.
Remember - if it works, it works! Upsetting folk can
happen but as long as there is an underlying justification for the content then be prepared to argue your corner
and give your reasons. Rational debate is the hallmark
of any open civilised mind.
Best wishes on WOL.
MC

Comment is about Stu Burton (poet profile)

Original item by Stu Burton

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 12th Jan 2016 16:57

At 6ft4ins. the desired trouser length was 34ins. but I
found the extra long on offer at C&A were more like 35ins.
I preferred to have a bit of "sag" on the shoe than walk
around like those Yanks with their pants barely touching
their shoes and flapping around their ankles with every step.
As for a 42ins. waist: No...never had that encircling expanse.

Comment is about C&A (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Vicki Ayers

Tue 12th Jan 2016 15:49

Thank you for your comments Wolfgar

It's interesting what you've said about the line

'I wish I had another soul'

being a stand alone line as when I read this I put a pause there before I continue - maybe I should leave a space in the text to indicate this?

Thanks again for taking the time to read & comment it's much appreciated x

Comment is about Rainspell (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

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Vicki Ayers

Tue 12th Jan 2016 13:15

Martin this is so vibrant in its descriptions - I can smell the smoke & hear the chatter - brilliant x

Comment is about Smoke room (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

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raypool

Tue 12th Jan 2016 12:01

Very pleased Martin that you enjoyed this. I do have a soft spot for the area so got right into it!

Ray

Comment is about THE WARREN HOUSE INN DARTMOOR (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Nigel Astell

Tue 12th Jan 2016 11:26

Cut the threads
of the past.
Rise with shadow
love and desire.
To the sunset
of your dreams.

Comment is about Baptism (blog)

Original item by Katy Megan

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Tom Doolan

Tue 12th Jan 2016 10:25

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Tom Doolan

Tue 12th Jan 2016 10:22

one of a kind, a true maverick, thanks for feedback guyz

Comment is about Rebel Rebel (blog)

Original item by Tom Doolan

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Stu Buck

Tue 12th Jan 2016 08:17

this is excellent. it captures the same sort of schizophrenic buildings that rays does. thats not a very good description of it, but i understand. i particularly like

Smoking sweet smelling cheroots or cigarettes through

Tooth chewed tortishell holders

Although i think it may be 'tortoiseshell'

Doesnt spoil an excellent poem though, and one that is transportative (why is this not a word?) and vivid.

also kudos for the perfect description of each customer. i chortled along the way.

Update - it just struck me you may have meant 'tortishell' as a colloquialism i am not aware of. if so, i apologise.

Comment is about Smoke room (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Lan

Tue 12th Jan 2016 02:31

Have felt a bit bad about my very basic comments on this one, keep thinking about it. I found it beautiful because I wish someone would write something so lovely about me, and to be honest I don't really want to analyse how you managed to inspire that feeling in me, but however you did it, it is beautiful :)

Comment is about bluelit 2 (12/23/2015) (blog)

Original item by Zach Dafoe

Lan

Tue 12th Jan 2016 02:25

Martin, I really enjoyed this - the images are so vivid, I felt like I was watching a movie, or looking at a series of paintings. Love the clarity of the last four lines :)

Comment is about Smoke room (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Lan

Tue 12th Jan 2016 02:02

Hi Stu, thanks for commenting on 'Shut Up..' Much appreciated x

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Lan

Tue 12th Jan 2016 01:58

Hi Martin, thanks for your comment on 'Shut Up...' Very much appreciated :)

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Lan

Tue 12th Jan 2016 01:30

Hi Vicki, thanks for your very kind comment on 'Shut Up...' Much appreciated x

Comment is about Pixievic (poet profile)

Original item by Pixievic

Lan

Tue 12th Jan 2016 01:28

Hi MC, thanks for your comment on 'Shut up..' - I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. As for ensuring a woman (or a man, for that matter) is content, I really believe only the person themselves can do so, it's not up to anyone else. I wonder, too, if contentment is the goal. For me, at least at the moment, I think the goal is finding the courage to voice my experience/ thoughts etc.
Thanks again.

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Lan

Tue 12th Jan 2016 00:48

Hi Brandon, thanks so much for your very kind comment on 'Shut up...' - it was quite the rant, and I believe I need to listen to my own advice sometimes, thanks again x

Comment is about brandon sproule (poet profile)

Original item by brandon sproule

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Martin Elder

Mon 11th Jan 2016 22:41

A great poem ray with vivid description that certainly pulled me in. I am glad I did not miss it.

Comment is about THE WARREN HOUSE INN DARTMOOR (blog)

Original item by ray pool

J Graham

Mon 11th Jan 2016 21:01

Comment is about Le Chien Noir (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

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John Coopey

Mon 11th Jan 2016 19:02

35" leg, MC!!! You didn't want trousers; you wanted drainpipes.

Comment is about C&A (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Vicki Ayers

Mon 11th Jan 2016 16:53

Well said x

Comment is about Rebel Rebel (blog)

Original item by Tom Doolan

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 11th Jan 2016 16:09

Hi Ray - thanks for the comment on my Leningrad poem.
I did see the programme you mentioned and some of the
views brought back some memories. I still have a guide
to the city somewhere - bought whilst there. What its
citizens had to endure during those terrible siege days
doesn't bear thinking about. But I guess that "stoicism"
is a trait in the Russian personality and it was never more
necessary than then and there, not helped by Stalin's
reported indifference (and worse) towards the city and its
inhabitants.

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 11th Jan 2016 16:01

Each time I venture south west and meet up with locally
based family, we try to make a trip out on the moor -
taking in a cream tea (of course!) on the way...either at
Badgers Holt or Widdicombe. The loss of the rail link to
Princetown is surely a case of real regret, especially
thinking on how it could have been a superb addition to
the preserved lines that are doing well today. And what
a fine subject it would have been for a moorland poem!

Comment is about THE WARREN HOUSE INN DARTMOOR (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Graham Sherwood

Mon 11th Jan 2016 15:42

Greg I've answered this!

Graham

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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