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Stu Buck

Fri 11th Sep 2015 18:03

certainly does. first person present tense really conveys an immediacy and personal nature that i love, especially live. im not an academic, nor do i approach poetry in that way, so i find all this language analysis and metres a bit dull (has its place but im more interested in the stand up and shout side of poetry). you certainly are in a fine vein of form, something i am currently lacking!

Comment is about IN THE SHOWER (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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raypool

Fri 11th Sep 2015 17:59

cheers, Stu. I'm in full flow at the moment, but that sounds like a pun! Lots of stuff about the wrong end of life though - hope it' not a premonition!! I am enjoying using the present tense a bit, does that do it for you?

Comment is about IN THE SHOWER (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Stu Buck

Fri 11th Sep 2015 16:38

nice observations on age and death. lovely metaphor in the last verse, and one that people don't need a doctorate in language to decipher (its a compliment).

Comment is about IN THE SHOWER (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Audrey Aka

Fri 11th Sep 2015 16:36

Wow, Micheal. I was truly moved by this piece. Your syntax and word play perfectly juxtaposed the emotion within the piece. Simply amazing work.

Comment is about Internalizations of the External (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

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Audrey Aka

Fri 11th Sep 2015 16:30

this is is eerily beautiful. I love it

Comment is about Bitter (blog)

Original item by C.P.

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Collin

Fri 11th Sep 2015 15:44

Really painted a picture, nice work.

Comment is about Smokey Mirrors and Lust (blog)

Original item by lolaudrey

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raypool

Fri 11th Sep 2015 10:53

HI Laura, I'm enjoying this to and fro. As Freddie Mercury might have said: we are the thinkers. For me it's quite a new thing to lay out my thoughts on to the trestle table of public scrutiny. In that challenge lies a sort of recollection of youth misspent, so I am living it out now. Could that be an elixir in itself? I think so, although in the way an actor dons a cloak etc. Keep all mirrors well clear, probably a good idea.

Memories of age like ripe fruit need to be fed and there the analogy ends, as it falls off the bough eventually!

Cynthia has commented too on the tram poem, she has been helpful , so I am in the pink at the moment.
regards, Ray

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

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Jeff Dawson

Fri 11th Sep 2015 09:35

Hi Harry, thanks for your comment on Open the Borders, yes it is a turn up with us and the Germans, it now seems that some sense is prevailing, for various reasons! thanks Jeff

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Jeff Dawson

Fri 11th Sep 2015 09:32

Hard hitting this Martin, well written and sadly a common state of affairs, in this day and age, it shouldn't be anything like that, I hope your poem gives anyone reading it who is suffering strength.

Thanks for your comment on 'Open the Borders', much appreciated, I will be reading it at Sale WOL on Tuesday if you can make it, and read a poem or two, be great to see you, I'm standing in as MC, thanks Jeff

Comment is about Your turn (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

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Tom Harding

Thu 10th Sep 2015 23:10

Edit for a slightly different take

Comment is about August (blog)

Original item by Tom Harding

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 10th Sep 2015 16:43

Huge improvement. Glad I came back. Always listen to Laura. BTW, I thought 'except for moments of history' was superb.

Comment is about AT THE END (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 10th Sep 2015 16:39

Laura, re: 'Reading the Sign' - the diverse interpretations are amazing. I still think you understood what I meant; but maybe not. Maybe I don't understand what I meant, although I thought I did when the words just flowed through my head and hands.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

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Stu Buck

Thu 10th Sep 2015 15:00

finally someone has poetically expressed the disillusionment i feel when i have spent my hard earned cash on a gig ticket just to have the entire thing spoiled by selfish, mundane tossers recording half the fucking show on their stupid bloody i-phones. thanks!

Comment is about Reading the Sign (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Rachel Bond

Thu 10th Sep 2015 14:55

Interesting.

Comment is about 395 (blog)

Original item by Corr Lens

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Laura Taylor

Thu 10th Sep 2015 14:30

Oh, and by the way - you wouldn't believe the amount of research I've done on poems before, to make sure of the accuracy of some of my claims or ideas. I've often found it leads me into some incredibly interesting territory - to the point where it's completely changed the poem that I started out with and made it something very different. I recommend it every time.

Haha - an elixir of youth? No such thing chap - unless, of course, you'd like to write one into existence? Hmmm...now THERE'S an idea ;)

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

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raypool

Thu 10th Sep 2015 14:29

Thanks Laura - largely thanks to your inspiration. It's such a thrill when you can focus up a mental image with clarity. Ayethangyow..

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

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Laura Taylor

Thu 10th Sep 2015 14:26

Oooo now see - THAT works. That fits beautifully, makes sense, sounds wonderful, feels poetic, and doesn't pull the reader up into 'what the..?' territory.

Nicely done :)

Comment is about AT THE END (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Tommy Carroll

Thu 10th Sep 2015 12:18

Funny l was just using Damien Hirst's shark as an example of the su text being stronger than the article.

Comment is about ? (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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raypool

Thu 10th Sep 2015 12:12

I've done it now Laura: "to reverse the rows of slatted seats." I think that is more understandable . There is no record that I could find about the procedure, so there it is. Thanks again.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

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raypool

Thu 10th Sep 2015 11:13

THanks for all that encouragement; I take any comment as a compliment and yours especially as you wouldn't bother unless you were 100% sure of yourself I reckon.

Is there any other alternative to socialism that gives a fuck about people - I don't know of one. So it does matter - just give me an injection of youth I would be there.

I'll still try another line maybe in that cursed poem if I can do better. Maybe reverse rather than pull forward.
By the way did you know that the old trams had a small pierced screen half way up the staircase to block the view of ascending ladies in their voluminous skirts.!! owz about that?

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

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Stu Buck

Thu 10th Sep 2015 10:58

such a lovely thing. can we ever be sure we have made the right choice? gentle and enormous at the same time. congrats.

Comment is about LOVE TRIANGLE (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Laura Taylor

Thu 10th Sep 2015 10:28

Well, I must admit I am tempted, but I won't. I do actually love how words take on new meanings outside of the original writer's head, and I am actually happy to let all those amazing lines wash over and around me, and create their own meanings each time. It's a delightful thing about poetry.

Comment is about Zach Dafoe (poet profile)

Original item by Zach Dafoe

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Stu Buck

Thu 10th Sep 2015 09:51

Hola,
I am infamous for my ability to pick up everything that isnt there and nothing that is, giving me the dubious ability to enjoy things on an entirely different level to how they were meant/everyone else does.
so here i read the passage of time, a fresh ice age, religious barbarism, humanity prevailing and a new dawn, all seen through the eyes of a coma vicitim. upon re-reading i got half of that and loads of other stuff too. and the lines;
a nameless cause like novacaine
blistered thunder in my veins
looks like hate, tastes like home
backpacking the fall of rome

are superb.

Comment is about Zach Dafoe (poet profile)

Original item by Zach Dafoe

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Stu Buck

Thu 10th Sep 2015 09:40

thanks guys! ray, i am now a celebrated clearhead as well, but i admit to being a scamp in my time!

tom, thanks a lot. i try to sway between stream of consciousness and the ability to still be succinct.

Comment is about the tent flaps of perception (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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John Bastard

Thu 10th Sep 2015 01:12

evening stu,
thank you for reading me again.
definitely was not expecting any amount of praise for that bear trap. it kind of accidentally was a blur of feelings i put what seemed like way too much time into at the -- er -- time. started out as a love letter but turned into something a little more genuine.

the symbols mean a lot to me, but im more interested in what they might mean to other people. what do you think?

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

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John Bastard

Thu 10th Sep 2015 01:06

hi laura
thank you for reading me.

'ballad of the bear trap' is a good example of a piece of yourself (well, myself in this case i guess) losing restraint to the author's original interpretation.

it is very surreal outside of the context of my own head. i kind of absent-mindedly typed it out on a 14 hour hazy-headed car ride, initially as a love letter but it kept going and turned into something a little bit bigger. mostly unconscious. the definition of anything according to me, especially in the exploration of all abstract things is not as important as what YOU, the reader, think it is. 'please teach me something about myself.'

i can tell you what i think it means though, if you like. :)

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Tom Harding

Wed 9th Sep 2015 23:05

stu really like your stuff, it's free flowing but neatly pieced together - a great trick!

Comment is about the tent flaps of perception (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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raypool

Wed 9th Sep 2015 22:53

It seems the taking of photographs now being so easy is like a kneejerk reaction to everyday living. When we were children we grow up by looking at the world and interpreting it , whereas now technology is making children of us again. How good is that? I have a film camera and I use it when I'm inspired and love to await the result with curiosity and anticipation. It's a very thought provoking poem and works well. A very bleak resume I feel.

Comment is about Reading the Sign (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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raypool

Wed 9th Sep 2015 22:41

fantastic Stu. I'm only meeting you half way on this, as I'm a clearhead at all times; but it doesn't stop me relishing every moment of the poem. I love unreality checks like this.

Comment is about the tent flaps of perception (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Kindra Fletcher

Wed 9th Sep 2015 17:49

This is very beautiful, your writing style is complex and well thought out. It gives a better sense of what kind of writer I can be, and I admire your work.

Comment is about Despair - The Word (blog)

Original item by Isabel Hope

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Laura Taylor

Wed 9th Sep 2015 15:55

Awr Tommy - DON'T! That scene with Chrissy - god that leaves me raw. Just like stepping back in time for me that, it captured perfectly the hand-to-mouth existence for so many of us. I can't watch it without bawling :(

Yeh - the Silver Jubilee eh? I got a fancy glass at school that was quite nice. That was about the sum total of my feelings about it. Any excuse for a party I suppose eh?

Ha Graham, no no, not you. Who's to say it would be JC anyway? Could be me, or Tommy - just so long as the person is elected!

Comment is about Unelected (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Stu Buck

Wed 9th Sep 2015 15:30

well, if he isnt dead he's definitely energy condensed to a slow vibration.

Comment is about the tent flaps of perception (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Graham Sherwood

Wed 9th Sep 2015 15:26

Bloody hell Laura,
when I started reading this I thought you were having a go at me with 63 years, 10 months and 24 days, phew!

On the piece, nothing riles me more than the thought of the minor royals schlepping around the world on a free ticket (especially Andrew and his lot).

I think the demise of this Queen will begin a paradigm shift in royal appreciation from the general public.

In my world Madam Tussauds would control all the castles (like Warwick) and make them into money spinners for the economy.

As for the royals, they could all be shunted off to Bavaria and get renamed back to Saxe-Coburg.

One downside however would you really want a President Corbyn to take her place?

Don't answer that!

Comment is about Unelected (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Tommy Carroll

Wed 9th Sep 2015 15:22

Fuck! Bill Hicks is dead?

Comment is about the tent flaps of perception (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Tommy Carroll

Wed 9th Sep 2015 14:44

When she came to Liverpool for her 1977? Event the liberals cut branches off the trees and shoved them in all the waste land on the route that she would travel along as they did with curtains up in empty council houses (there were millions of them then)...but in the evening - street pah-tay-central (puts his fingers up behind his head and does a jig) nearly copped-off with that dance.

Comment is about Unelected (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Tommy Carroll

Wed 9th Sep 2015 14:33

"Chrissy the rabbits!"

Comment is about Unelected (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Stu Buck

Wed 9th Sep 2015 14:25

it was a little white thing. he yapped and went for me when i stood on it, but the owner didnt know id stood on it and bought us both a drink to say sorry. i never owned up, mainly because im a horrible person...

Comment is about the tent flaps of perception (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Laura Taylor

Wed 9th Sep 2015 14:24

Haha - I don't think I've ever had such a fruitful exchange of reference-spotting before you :D

Ooo nasty! It was always really short-lived for me - very like poppers but without the head-imploding pain afterwards.

:D Did you? I hope it wasn't a guide dog. That would have been way too much ironing :D

I love the jigsaw pieces and fire line - perfectly sums up when it all goes horribly wrong, that.

Comment is about the tent flaps of perception (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Stu Buck

Wed 9th Sep 2015 14:21

you are too hard to catch out! im listening to achtung bono now.

salvia was a long vicious comedown for me. the first (and only) time we have tried it, we had the 40x stuff. the whole period was horrendous. i did genuinely stand on a dog.

Comment is about the tent flaps of perception (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Laura Taylor

Wed 9th Sep 2015 14:19

Haha - oh yes, the tourism, all the pots and pots of money she brings in to the country! Yes, forgot about that. God that makes me worse than Hitler doesn't it? ;)

Why thank ye sir for seeing that - if I could have fitted in the rest of that line I would have but it just would NOT be wedged! Clearly it didn't need it ;)

Cheers ears!

Comment is about Unelected (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Laura Taylor

Wed 9th Sep 2015 14:15

I've always found salvia to be much more immediate than that ;)

And you're a HMHB fan as well as Neutral Milk?! Ace :D

It feels more like a vicious comedown in places, rather than a salvia high, but I like the feel of it. Sort of. In a way that several years away from psychosis can provide ;)

Actually, that's really quite a Nigel finish there.

Thumbs up, Stu.

Comment is about the tent flaps of perception (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Stu Buck

Wed 9th Sep 2015 14:14

"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?
thus spake bailey

as a staunch anti-royal, i can certainly agree with the sentiment here. but lets not forget the tourism!!! never forget the tourism!!! for me i stopped caring when, as a boy, i waited in line for 3 hours at my school to see charlie boy and he didnt even get out of the f*&@ing car.

horrible tradition, horrible people.

nice boys from the black stuff reference too!

Comment is about Unelected (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Lynn Hamilton

Wed 9th Sep 2015 13:02

Thank you, Cynthia.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Tommy Carroll

Wed 9th Sep 2015 12:32

l have been aware that Fotos can provoke or sometimes compress, reduce the memory of events surrounding the taking of the image. They can 'headline' recollection. A couple of years ago I spent 4 weeks travelling across Europe and decided to leave my mobile phone behind as l didn't want to lose that sense of separation and distance from my home and children. An example of the contrary: the five people that I was travelling with across Europe, all had mobile phones who were in contact, almost daily, with family and friends and would discuss neighbourly issues etc. Photographs/phone calls can both link and lose the moment- decisive or otherwise.

Comment is about Reading the Sign (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Laura Taylor

Wed 9th Sep 2015 11:54

There are some amazing lines and phrases in this, agreed. I have no bloody idea what's going on, like, but maybe the point is to be surreal. And maybe the use of non-linearity juxtaposed with the accepted understanding of a ballad as linear is an extra dose of clever on the top? Or maybe YOU think it's linear as f*ck and I just don't see it - it has been known :D

Anyway, I enjoyed reading it. Probably pays to read it a few more times too.

Comment is about the ballad of the beartrap (blog)

Original item by Zach Dafoe

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Darren Lea-grime

Wed 9th Sep 2015 11:50

cheers cynthia writing about reading, whatever next!!
you are right, it's either write them shorter or read fast

daz

Comment is about Performance (notes to my self) (blog)

Original item by dazzer

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Laura Taylor

Wed 9th Sep 2015 11:47

Aye, another cracker from you Stu!

Chockfull of interesting details and memories, and I love the self-awareness shown in several lines, but this one in particular:

An overpriced attempt
To become more cultured

Comment is about absinthe makes the heart grow fonder (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Laura Taylor

Wed 9th Sep 2015 11:45

Great story with some nicely spaced out rhymes.

'forward pull' though - is that terminology or just to make it scan better? I'm not a fan of awkward parsing just to make it fit.

Comment is about AT THE END (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Laura Taylor

Wed 9th Sep 2015 11:40

Succinct, spot on, with clear vision. Nice one Cynth.

Comment is about Reading the Sign (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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raypool

Wed 9th Sep 2015 11:19

thanks you for your detailed reading of At the End. I believe you're absolutely right - i'll sort it as of now! I drove myself mad to get the slatted seats right .
I'm glad you liked it.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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