The website will celebrate fiascos, insects, colloids, cybernetics, lump hammers, toffee, biscuits, quantum cookery using dark matter, and stuff. Ermintrude and Hermione will be most welcome -- I hope they will come to regard it as a second home. I should be in receipt of said website this week and will probably launch a badly designed, ersatz prototype very shortly. Meanwhile, we are to have our own play area on WOL!

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Quite right. I wouldn't let you on my space. You should go and create YourSpace. Whales are no good, they are bald and they always blow their nose when you talk to them. I am prepared to discuss with them about Shambo becoming thier first minister provided they come and meet me in the Moby Dick pub because that is only 400 yards from my house. They must dress properly in thread worm suits and they will have to cover that disgusting baldness with proper pink wigs. Oh and they are not allowed to smoke unless they go outside.

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I thought whales were ocean-adapted bulls! That's why they attack underwater bunting and are allergic to strawberries. I've seen whales with rings through their noses tethered outside a farmer's postcard sea front parade kiosk. Meanwhile, I am glad to report that Ricardo Reis did make a curry and I am sad to report that the said Ricardo Reis forgot to put the rice pudding in the oven on time. However, it is my turn to make the dinner tonight so there will be rice pudding in the oven at the correct regulo and in time to cook thoroughly to be eaten today and not tomrrow. And I am glad to report that Ricardo Reis's son who is also my son has taken to calling himself Vienna Famous. You can see him on Myspace. I was thrown off Myspace for claiming that my hobby was figure skating on cryogenically preserved bodies to check their frost levels.

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Roddri couldn't object, he would be humanely despatched. Hermione and Ermintrude can't put up with a lot of bull. When I was human I was too tired to campaign and now I have transed nobody can see me. Anyway, Shambo would be best First Minister for Wales. Their assembly is already shambolic so it is his right and bulls are friendlier than whales.

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Shambo -- can't Hermione Pringle or Ermintrude Prune do something to save him? I mean, Ermintrude's, well, gone over and is probably a reformed spirit by now. Surely she can exert some kind of astral protection for the lovely bull? And you're right, swap Roddri over -- Roddri could wear a panto-bull suit and speak in his own defense. Or leg it. Or do kick boxing. Or claim diplomatic immunity.

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Oh OK Paul. I ought to have put Shambo in there.

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Hey Malcolm
I've created a new "Topical Verse" forum for you in Discussions
Paul

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I'm scared now. I think I will have Dogspot bleached.

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Or William Ernest Henley's Madame Life's a Piece in Bloom from which The Ruffian on the Stair snooked its title -- also declares that the polka dot is dangerous. And I quote, 'to dare to dream in dapplement, the lounging polka dot and speck, and every splashing devilment, a man perchance becomes a wreck.' Warning enough.

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Ruffian On The Stares, as Jo Orton-ow. You are getting dangerously close to polka dots -- step away now!

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Don't look at me with your ruffian glasses! That could be a hotspot.

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Dogspots on cats! Dogspot is a totally appropriate and congruent mascot. Dogspot willl be officially ratified first thing in the morning when I can find my glasses. My special ratification rafia framed glasses.

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Dogspot

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So your girliefesto is on your sitefesto: transhumanism is a very interesting edict. You have much bigger philosophies than I have in my manifesto, which is absolutely trite by comparison. I only have hand-thrown HQs and replica meals.So, what's your mascot to be?

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I have read yours and I fully understand it, but I am worried about getting a mascot for mine. I am terrified of being punished for naffmascot. Ha, but of course I will be exempt having a girliefesto. Anyway, it is an enormous work of great erudition and will take an enormously long time.

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My manifesto's done. It really doesn't make any sense, which is a relief. How's your girliefesto/femanifesto coming along?

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A manifesto! I must have a girliefesto. I will start work on it immediately.

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Hello Osi Ris Emperoar of Vitals, kith of Hermione Pringle and Ermintrude Prune -- blimey, a Hit Man. I hope he's pathologically off-topic. I removed the old work from my page this afternoon because I'm posting some new guff this evening: Valhallal Heights, A Manifesto should be up soonish. Oh yes, the silliness continues. Again, your poems on world events are a treat. And as for bras, well, all I can say is cuppa soup -- they should make them with famous grocery label prints. Long Live The Lord Of Image Nations!

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Nothing like a good mutual appreciation society. Agnew Bis and George Purpose have entered my world to join Hermione Pringle, Ermintrude Prune and others who have lived with me for many years. You create some beautiful imagery Moxy and I enjoy it enormously. Ever since the lovely Is Is found the final, vital part and completed my reassembly I have presided over the underworld peopled by heavy hearted feathery souls and the fig moments of the image nations. It is a beautiful place to be and I am its emporer (it is the very best of emporiums). Provided that Casimir was dead at the time, I expect to bump into him here soon. He's great.

Osi Ris

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Thank you for your lovely -- overwhelming -- comments, they really are appreciated. I am a huge fan of your work so am massively boosted and bolstered and blushed. Great thing the imagination, isn't it? I should say so! Joy To Your World Mr Carnival!

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I'm a carny. Us carnivals have the best diet.

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Can't you just tell I'm a veggie? 'Pepperomi?' Pepperoni is the correct word for collective animal corpses in extruded form. Aye me. I weep for them all.

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Prayer sheets as in fajita wraps? Bread of heaven with pious filling? Pious pie and mushy peace that passeth all understanding? Wine turned into balsamic vinegar? Dijon Warwick mustard?Salvation Barmy and Sergeant Pepperomi? Thy soul is ketchup in the squirt body of an imp.

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A lesson to all those who pray. You will be eaten. I will provide prayer sheets and suitable condiments for self administration to all those who wish to pray to me.

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Sock Eye Salmon prayed to Mammon, Mammon simply ate the salmon. Ate it with some cheese and jam on, Mayonnaise, a twist of lemon. Hiawatha started coughing, Coughing from the solar plexus, when you cough your nose it makes stuff, blow your nose you noisy cougher, otherwise you simply vex us, see a hankie's in the offing, put aside for 'Watha's coughing. I think that calls for Dogspots all round.

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Hell and damnation on all those pamnations who set off to stud with sick Su. Pretty, proud Palmandas knock spots off salamanders and sweep the bored
before them in their wake.

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You might end up a Pamnation instead -- what if they entered your for Crufts and a breeding programme with Su from Sooty and Sweep?

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Yes I'd like to be a dalmanda. Everybody would love me and give me bambones.

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Well, be careful what you wish for! Rain like Dalmation markings! Or Panda eyepatches!

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I want a dogspot

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I meant 'arial' -- I believe the other is a washing powder, also available in liquid form. Or is it the tusks/antlers whereon the television signal is impaled? Or is it simply a typo? Blood group typo?

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Oh you do, do you? Well, as it happens, there's a consequence to Times 12 point cloud seeding procedures. 12 point makes for the larger kind of raindrop -- the terrifying DOGSPOT. Do you really want DOGSPOTS?
Mary Quantum's friend, Norris Neutrino, suggests you try the new ghost particle/quark epilator. It dispenses with the need for barbers and shaolin foam.

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I insist on Times 12 point.

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I bring but gentle head-butting pandas and parrots to nudge your tucker bag into the billabong. No martial arts make-up artistes, or postal fleas -- my adhesive letters have been sent into a cloud around which water droplets will condense so you will have a falling, cacophanous alphabet in ariel 8 point whilst other mortals have pitter patter raindrops, little grasshopper.

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