Very enjoyable poem, Andy. I love "there is a hesitation" but wasn't so sure about mustard gas. I like what you're saying though. XX

Comment is about The End of Summer III (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Wow, John, this is brill. I did not expect how the poem builds. Really good poem.

Comment is about The Secret Place (blog)

Liked this a lot Kealan. My sort of obsessions.

Comment is about In The Shadows Of Mountains (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Very well said Laura. Life affirming even through death, somehow conquering death. XXX

Comment is about Hasta Mañana (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Clever stuff. My dad used to make us things like forts out of plywood. We still knew what was coming. It was the stench of paint that gave away the hidey-holes. You can't kid the kids.

Comment is about Mama Santa (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

I can understand the reluctance with the duster bit that's me to a T. Never thought to write a poem about it though. Brilliant.

Comment is about Unfeeling (blog)

Very good but so deeply sad and somehow quite unpleasant. I know the subject matter itself is likely to make a reader feel - well, it's not fluffy bunnies is it?! It is very good, Ray, but has left me feeling rather queasy. I'm sorry - not very hellpful really!

Comment is about Unwound (blog)

Very touching Stella. I also enjoyed this - it's not the right word but it expresses how much I appreciated how good your poem is. X

Comment is about Unfeeling (blog)

Hi Elaine, thanks for the kind comment, Cheers Neil

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

Very evocative. Enjoyed this.

Comment is about Persephone's Perpetuum (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Ah, lovely, Laura (and lovely Laura!)and also full of the fierce desire to protect your right to non-communciation - not to have to explain yourself, tell your story over and over. Oh yes I do know this so well. Wonderful suprise to see this poem and to see the date of it too! XXX

Comment is about Clear Blue Air (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Some real stand-out lines Andy:
"Coastlines and Arcades
try grey"
and
"shutters ......
dangle.......
like clapping hands".

Also like the image of the leaves carrying themselves. Very atmospheric. It stays with you long after reading it - perfectly captures this time of year. XXX

Comment is about The End of Summer (IV) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Good to read so many poems that really raise a smile in gloomy October. Nice one, Dave.

Comment is about Logic (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

Very amusing. I loved to see "fizzog" used here. And yes, I buy the explanation!

Comment is about "Widening the Circle of Friends" (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Isobel, heard you do this a couple of times and it is always hilarious and so wryly performed. I love it. Great to see it up here at last. XXX

Comment is about Chlamydia (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Great rant, Jeff - in fact could be a great rant-along - would enjoy that! B good 2 c u soon. XXX

Comment is about It Just Ain't Gonna Happen!! (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Cynthia, Lovely to hear your voice the other day. I think there's been a bit of a mix up. I got a message from Stanley first. It wasn't a very clear recording but I gathered it was soemthing to do with a new email address possibly? Kiss something? Does that ring a bell. Anyhow I didn't get chance to reply and then got your voicemail. I am not aware that I rang at all but may have caught the rign back button perhaps - I'd always leave a message althogh I tend to text mainly. Anyway, hope you are both well. It woudl be lovelyy to see you again sometime soon. XXX

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Well, I wanted "she'll miss so very much" as the dates will be in the future.
My kids watch Britain's Got Talent too. I blame their mother.
Thanks, Isobel.

Comment is about Unwound (blog)

Hello. It's a nice poem. Let me tell you what I didn't like, before what I did.
The one-line sentences, I prefer more flow.

I picked obscure rose petals and placed them in abandoned jam jars.

I think the line ought to end on "them."

"crown festooned" seems to hang a bit at the end of the line. I'd put it before "with God"

I grasped but my hand - "and" better than "but"?

misrepresented by madness is lovely and these lines complement each other perfectly.

I trampled on my spirit, a quiet cost.
I found an inner peace, like a pardon.

I like the idea of being taunted by flowers, by beauty. There's a nice rhythm - despite the full stops! - and you can obviously write well.

Comment is about BERBERIS (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

Hi Lynn, so pleased you enjoyed Sensorial, many thanks for commenting.

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Laura, thanks for commenting on Sensorial, much appreciated.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Or 'that she'd miss so very much' would work also.

Comment is about Unwound (blog)

Things that go bump (or slither?) in the night.
Who knows what happens when the lamp goes off?
Shades of M.R. James meets Enid Blyton!
M.C.

Comment is about A Silly Goblin Poem (blog)

Original item by Shirley Smothers

I really appreciate the kind comments for this tribute to a great singer/songwriter/poet. And thanks Laura for the info. about Alabama 3. I don't know this band and must do some homework to see if I can locate the song you mention. I did have a recording made (on CD demo) & if I can find a way of uploading it to WriteLoud,I will. I thought better than to use my own voice on it though! As another great star says: A man's gotta know his limitations! Thanks again...M.C.

Comment is about DADDY KNEW JOHNNY CASH (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

A great night and the ideal relaunch last night at the Blind Poet. A chilled audience and relentlessly wonderful words from feature performers Claire Askew, Gavin Inglis and Sophia Walker - not forgetting top-notch open mics from Matt Macdonald, Rachel Amey, Rachel McCrum, Stephen Redman and many, many others. Thanks too to Rose Fraser for getting everyone there to join our email list, Alec Beattie for hosting, and the staff at the Blind Poet who were hospitable and helpful. See you all next month!

By Blind Poetics.

Review is about Blind Poetics on 10 Oct 2011 (event)

I like the tense change. If you didn't want to stress the past tense you could make it more subtle. ie

The baby alarm now silent
and her knitting all unwound

Not sure about the other tweak. Am struggling to remember the original. I'd prefer something that flows a little better, less stuttery - probably cos I'm more of a performance poet ie.

around a false breast on the carpet
that nobody wanted to touch
and her diary with the targets
that she'd missed so very much

I get the play you are making on missed - think it works in past tense also.

These are just suggestions. Sometimes the more you look at stuff, the more you start to doubt what you just thought.... I know you won't be offended by owt though. xx

Comment is about Unwound (blog)

Thanks, Laura, Steve, Isobel. You're right about the 4th verse, Isobel, there were a couple of last minute substitutions which I've amended and I've changed the tenses too. What d'ya think?

Comment is about Unwound (blog)

I enjoyed this too. It's a shame there's no recording. It sounds very lyrical and would perform well.

Comment is about DADDY KNEW JOHNNY CASH (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

She must have been mad to ever consider washing dusters in the first place. Mine get binned. In fact I use old knickers and underpants - which is a load of fun if you forget and leave them haning around!

Everyone else has said the important stuff. Certain moods bring with them intertia that stifles all action. It stops me doing housework many a time... You express that well. xx

Comment is about Unfeeling (blog)

A sad one Ray with lots of images that stay in the mind. I don't normally do critique but I'll make an exception for you :)

I like the first verse very much. Got confused by the change of tenses from past to present in the middle - was that necessary?

I didn't like the false breast verse - thought the last line seemed a forced.

It's a good/original subject to tackle. I often wonder who would have the patience to watch such programmes beyond my own offspring.

Comment is about Unwound (blog)

Hi Andy - thanks for commenting on 'True Love Starts' - I hope your other half enjoys to too! Best wishes, Dave

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

...such a pretty name...and you're only scatching the surface!

Well done Isobel.

Augusta xx

Comment is about Chlamydia (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Larisa,

Sorry, I had assumed the question was a rhetorical one.

It was when I saw the picture that I was inspired to pen the poem - the words were already overlaid on it.

The question is really quite a deep one and probably has many answers according to the views of the individual.

However, to me it doesn't seem right to say that love starts nowhere - but you could say 'True love came out of nowhere' which would perhaps be taken to mean much the same as 'Love at first sight'.

Does that help at all?

Best wishes, Dave

Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Welcome to Write Out Loud, Emma!

Comment is about Emma-Jane Stradling (poet profile)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

I like....

Comment is about BERBERIS (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

Hi, Elaine,
Sorry I missed your call. Do try again, or a regular email. This message is via this route as I annihilated my computer the last time I used the 'personal' route with someone else. So now I'm scared to death to try again. Can't afford to jinx my laptop.

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

Hi Emma

I like the image your poem draws. Particulaly the culmination in the final verse. It put me in mind of one of my favourite books, 'Siddartha' by Hermann Hesse.

Like you I have never read any of my poems in public. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Comment is about Emma-Jane Stradling (poet profile)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

Beautiful, Kath xx

Comment is about For a moment (blog)

Original item by Kath Hewitt

Thank You Lynn for the kind comments Re 'Blue',

Augusta x

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

This word 'somewhere' sounds very uncertain. But...it's just my opinion .

Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

perfect Kath. short and sweet

Comment is about For a moment (blog)

Original item by Kath Hewitt

I repeat my question again, but ....in a different form: Is it possible to say in English : A true love starts from nowhere but....after a certain period of time it comes to somewhere. The words were taken from your picture.

Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Hi Jeff

Thanks for your note on Clear Blue Air, appreciate it :)

See you soon x

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

You didn't answer my question Dave.

Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

I'm a huge JC fan and yup - it totally has the rhythm of one/loads of his songs! I really like this.

Have you heard of a band called Alabama 3? They did a tribute song to JC which was made up of loads of his song titles, clever stuff - it's called Hello I'm Johnny Cash. Bloody brilliant.

Comment is about DADDY KNEW JOHNNY CASH (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

This is really sad Ray, and to my mind, really well written, not bang-on obvious but hinting around the sides sorta thing

Comment is about Unwound (blog)

Mmm, depressive, heavy, really gets the (un)feeling across. Nice one Stella

Comment is about Unfeeling (blog)

Thank you Patricia & Stefan. He is indeed a great companion!

Comment is about He knows! (blog)

Original item by zethembiso mkhize

excellent stuff, dave.. need to show this to my other half - she's a proper romantic - she will love this xx

Comment is about True Love Starts... (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

ha ha excellent, lynn.. freaking me out however how near it is in particular when i am seeing christmas cards in the shops already xx

Comment is about Mama Santa (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye