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satyajit behera

Sun 27th Oct 2013 04:51

ok mam...actually i am quiet busy now on my academics so unable to giv proper attention here..i will take care of ur advice

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Ann Foxglove

Thu 24th Oct 2013 16:54

Good for you for putting your poem on the blogs section. I'm sorry you haven't had any other comments yet. People don't seem to make comments as often as they used to on this site. One way to get to know others on here is to make comments on their poems. Good luck with your writing anyway :)

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satyajit behera

Thu 17th Oct 2013 02:49

thnq mam...i will follow ur advice and soon i will be available in blog section

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 13th Oct 2013 09:54

Hi Satyajit - a very warm welcome to WOL. I think if you put your poem on the blog section on WOL you might get some more feedback if that's what you would like. I really like your poem. It has real honesty and charm! Hope to read more soon.

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satyajit behera

Mon 7th Oct 2013 13:37

ok freeman sir...i will remember your advice...thanks a lot for your valuable advice

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Greg Freeman

Mon 7th Oct 2013 06:02

I'm probably the wrong person to ask for critical feedback, Satyajit. I will admit that I'm not very good at receiving it myself, and so I hesitate to hand it out. Recently I had a small poem published in a magazine, but before it went in, the editor wrote to me suggesting a number of changes, to almost every line. She did not insist on them and I said No to most. But some I agreed to, because I felt they were an improvement. Even so, when it appeared in the magazine, it did not feel quite like my poem anymore.
What I would say is this: look at every word in your poem, and ask yourself, does it add to the meaning? Or is it being lazy? If you took it out, would doing that actually improve the poem? We can all usually find words like that in our poems, that aren't doing any work in the poem or helping its meaning, if we go back and look again a few days after writing them. Good luck!

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satyajit behera

Sun 6th Oct 2013 16:57

thank u...charles sir

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<Deleted User> (11485)

Sun 6th Oct 2013 16:54

Fine work.

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satyajit behera

Sun 6th Oct 2013 16:24

thanks sir...i owe your advise to join this site...
and i will be grateful if you can point any of my mistakes...so dat i can develope

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Greg Freeman

Sun 6th Oct 2013 13:33

Welcome to Write Out Loud, Satyajit! I enjoyed your poem, and the moment your eyes met while you were writing about her.

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