argh

the wooden pirate

with a real leg

‘pon his left shoulder

not a parrot but a peg

argh

his ship inverted

sailed ‘neath the wave

and in his treasure chest

was a craggy cave

argh

he roared with rum

empty barrels were full

his flag was white

black bones and skull

argh

the flag though ripped

caught on his hook

but not for a hand

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I swallowed an owl

I didn’t mean too

it flew in when my mouth was open

as I stood admiring a flowery garden

its feathers tickled making me cough

and scoff

                  a lot

                             panic and shout

and a little while later

then the darn thing flew out!

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mr onion with his mad mad hair

miss pepper with her smoothen skin

mrs lemon looking so so fair

master cauliflower’s complexion

the long long nose of sir carrot

the red red face of dame tomato

the velvet touch of lady apricot

the rustic charm of lord potato

father pumpkin’s autumn face

grandma asparagus’ spring fingers

mother strawberry’s summer grace

gran...

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I packed my worth on a dinner plate

and walked afar out to sea

you see

I reached an odd little island

shaped like a banana and pea

you see

I met a blue polka dot creature

with a hot pot of honey and tea

you see

I was poured a mug and we talked

such a charming and wise pigmy

you see

I realised the hour was late

better get back to home said ...

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an ostrich learning to swim in the sea

his neck like a stick floating vertically

swirling and rounding

and bobbing a wave

an invisible hand stirs a big cup of tea

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when I look at a bird

in a tree

the first thing

I notice is

its colours

are

within the lines

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bescare the Broogle stalking the stair

floiting hoiting loitering there

the Broogle the Broogle its howl of a scare

heeden oh heedon unsqueem beware

the Broogle the Broogle stalking the stair

befear the Broogle creepingly near

gooling hooling gathering here

the Broogle the Broogle emitting a fear

hissen oh hissen frooting the ear

the Broogle the Broogle creepingly n...

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o shrew in a shoe

shoo shoo

but he wouldn’t go

chew through the shoe

shoo shoo

chewed from heel to toe

nurse a poor tum

shoo shoo

he belched and was ill

greedy old shrew

shoo shoo

you’ve eaten your fill

find a new home

shoo shoo

one you can’t chew

its pair you jump to

shoo shoo

o shrew in a shoe

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begroan the ghoul who floots the floor

it sidles wodely rombles

and seen by some who vallacate

the hotel rooms it froodles

midnight is the time they say

the gallu-gallu grumbles

shrumbling in the corridors

and shrooning down the stairalls

intriguers flock from far and foyle

to witness Old Bazzam

and stay a night at their behowl

to see the ghoul then scram

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“Abe, easy Dee, effigy, eight chives, Jake, ale, Em,

any hope, peak you, arrest a ewe, feed other ewe”

                                                             ex-wife said

she certainly SPELT it out!

he then went on to reCOUNT

“When, too, furry forks, fave socks sieving, eat known tin”

and there was something oddly familiar about it all

when ex-husband and ...

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there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…

1.
bread (wholemeal)
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam

2.
onions (red)
tomatoes (finely chopped)
garlic (four cloves)
fireman's ladder (aluminium)
disparity (secretly hidden)
mildness (abundant)
gluttony (almost definite)
mozzarella (abridged)

3.
clean sink
dirty sink
point un-necessar...

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the spider
he, with cotton in his bottom
for the silken manufacture
dressing flies he likes to capture
in the evening wear for dinner
oh the spider, what a spinner

the wasp
he, with a pin for a sting
and the flailing arms he causes
people run like wild horses
from their summer barbecues
oh the wasp, such afternoons

the ant
he, having friends in the thousands
how the picnic blanke...

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the ravenous witch

famished with greed

tummied and toothed

in scoops could she eat

pickles and pockles

and piggy trough trays

gorging, gullooging

and munching for days

she went picking parcels

and morsels of stuff

jiggleberries, hockleberries

but never enough

apples and hopples

pebbles and pears

the horribliest fruit

even one covered in h...

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gulp!

ahurr ahurr ahurr

“I swallowed a cricketer”

he shouted with a cough

but, we asked, in a joking scoff

“do you not mean a cricket?”

then to our amazement

and in the very next minute

he regurgitated a bat!

which promptly flew back to its cave

and that, it seems, was that

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there is a place at at at

it is by by by

which is near near near

not too far from from from

you can get there via via via

and to be honest it is nice to stay at at at

it’s up to you really

but if you do stay at at at

you might visit visit visit

from there go to to to

then, if time, see see see

not so scenic as as as

reminded me of of of

but again it’s up...

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the parrot cooked a dinner

the dinner he cooked was a carrot

when the swan burst into song

and the thrush told him to hush

the starling asked for more food

more food he asked for starving

when the owl then sang out loud

and the crow told him to go

so a meal of interruption

ruined this fine carrot luncheon

then all was quiet, nothing heard

u...

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the donkey set the table

but the table set was wonky

when the crane brought the game

and the mice brought the dice

the horses cooked the food

and the food they cooked in courses

the deer brought the beer

and the koala brought the cola

so an evening full of fun

promised fun for all the evening

then the tiger turned up later

but unfortunately...

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you know he’s a Jib

the way you can tell

he jingles and jingles

like a jingly bell

but sometimes their jingle

mysteriously goes

then Jibs cry all day

and why, nobody knows

being a Jib

can often be tough

expected to jingle

and jingle with love

then on the days

where love is not felt

Jibs lose their jingle

and Jibs will then wilt

so...

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the hapless toad

who croaked a verse

and moved the trees around him

did sway the branches

sway the leaves

at the most profound of meaning

and too did cry

the birds above

at so beautiful a stanza

and soon to history

rose the toad

recited oft' thereafter

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noop

boo troon

frooing soon

noop

too woon

drooing hoon

noop

shoo shoo

oon

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Dong was a song

that Fung the dog sung

Moke was a joke

that Poke the pig spoke

the Ked, a book that was read

is what Uncle Ned said

so Uncle Ned

his dog Fung

and his pig Poke

did Dong and did Moke

for the Ked that they wrote

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hey ho

does an octopus know

how to juggle with eight cups and saucers

and the fish watching him

while the elephants swim

then he juggles with a turtle and tortoise

then ho hey

does the octopus say

I can do this all day round in circles

but an ache in my arm

in my arm, in my arm

and so on through all eight tentacles

so hey ho

let the octopus go

...

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I went on holiday

so I thought I’d pack

I put in my head

I’d be needing that

I packed my arm

because where’s the harm

so too my toes

not forgetting my face

oh, my other arm too

went into the case

better take my legs and feet

they’re important indeed

I added my hips

and my ‘you know what’

well you never know

I might need it or not

...

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