I turned the volume down so I could hear you.

Everything is still too loud.

Too many voices, and not the one I needed to hear.

I want to hear.

Mourning that lasted for nine hundred sixty four days.

Salty tears soaked waterlogged greenery.

Droopy head. Droopy leaves.

Pruning a root bound plant

Repot. 

Acclamation felt like dormancy

Dormancy was intense

Lef...

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I’m sorry to disappoint you

That I can be too sweet and so weak

And yet I can be cold and cruel too

That I can completely snap to my core

And morph into a creature of different sorts

I’m sorry that I’m not white or black

Or immaculate

Or of any matter 

For that fact

I’m not anything 

At all

Not wholly whole

You see,

Incompleteness 

Has been my superpower 

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You pulled me into your orbit

when I needed your help

and so, I made you my centre 

to centre myself

That was my first mistake

I looked inside you

for places where I could hide

I hoped to run from reality

into the delusions of your mind

I was happy to believe you were one of a kind

chuffed upon chuffed that you were mine

and I felt adored

grateful to m...

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I’ve been working on

Coming back from

The dead

Realising reality

Living in this world

Becoming me

I don’t have to know who I am

But I must know that I am

I am, I am, I am

I don’t have to know what I am

To deserve to be

I’m working on being,

Just being

Because I’ve been existing

Mindless, automatic, numb

Best autopilot, me

Coming back from the dead

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