When summer holidays end

you're an adult and then 

depression fades and you

feel ok; you have no reasonable

excuse  to take a day.

You see your self awareness

becoming so that you feel 

no is not an option; too much

reel from phoning in sick; can't

be a dick and just explain away 

In that fake and feeble voice like

you once did; couldn't put a lid

on y...

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For fucks sake

I think I'm brilliant.

Or else I think 

I'm a nasty piece of work.

Swinging between 

Superman and 

Venom 

Like an uncouth

Comic 

That isn't worth a cent.

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It is incomprehensible

that you should lick the side of a teaspoon

with your eyes shut 

in a public cafe .

More incomprehensible still

that you should disregard

gossiping strangers 

commenting on conversations had

in said cafe . 

Not knowing

how their words stink 

or sink into the crevices

between sips .

I will order my preference

in peace ....

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In a world full of people

I stand.

Listening,

clawing,

to the silence of

selfishness.

I could be anywhere,

yet I am here

and nowhere.

You say that you love me

but don't show it.

And so I am here

and I stand

in a world full of people -

longing for

nothingness. 

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