I remember exactly the spot

the place I sat

when she told me

I remember the cooling coffee

forgotten

when I was told

I remember the uncertainty

in her voice

when she told me

but

I remember how I smiled

the joy I felt

when I first knew

my almost son

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This old farm cottage of mine

keeps all my years safe

for it knows my secret ways

and remembers

There are shadows in the shadows

but in some rooms

my sons have hidden smiles

to lead me in

There is more solitude indoors

but here and there

she has retained a past caress

to warm me

The old mirror we found at market

still retains her ghost

which...

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Were you not my watch tower, erect above the chalky cliff

Stone guardian against all, high over the rough tides of my youth?

Was yours not the bastion, planted secure on the high turf:

Whose high walls embraced us and protected?

But that was then, now I am the ascended man -

Now I do not see your turrets from my farther shore

Black waves broke on your defences, your mortar crumbl...

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words

            no man should know

            or say

words

            no child should hear:

            parent, pray

            to be spared.

as he sat with his sons at home

and struggled to find

words:

he knew

            she will never return to us

he knew

            she is too ill

In a time when she was strong

for them

as her body weake...

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