Yesterday

I opened the windows of my room with the night

I let in the stars and slept in their time

    I knew their waning

When I awoke

My pillow was flattened with the weight of their time

My mind was present in the immensity of their span

    I knew their past now

Today

I curtained the new day in my room with the dawn

I breathed in time and dreamed of the...

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As I write, each line reaches for memories

lost, fallen beyond the edge of the world:

kamarupa dwelling in infinity, fading

when my lines do not find them

and my words fail passion and desire.

Eons, lost pasts. Which of them

could dream my frail dream of this

verse? Which, thrown

across the fabric of time, could make

nothing everything?

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Written in March 2023: one year on.

(...sees races, eras, dates, generations,

The past, the future, dwelling there, like space, inseparable together"

Walt Whitman, Kosmos)

Only fragile glass

                                   holds the cold

                                                                night's times at bay:

each star above the beech

owning its mo...

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The trees still sentinel stood

their green leaves whispering

rustling gently in the wood

in the same soft breeze

and I know some summer birds

sang in their canopy

a requiem without words

'neath the same blue sky

that through every passing year

quietly watched over me

safe within Ceredig's sphere

It has been too long a time

since our firs...

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Chaos seems the wrong first word:

no light

no sound

no time

and nothing moving e'er occurred

Chaos speaks to me of chance:

a move

a crash

a force

that happen in time's dance

So before chaos, ah, but stop -

no before

(no time)

so just

stasis as creation's dark backdrop

Some cosmic joggle, as if perhaps

god sneezed:

atoms move

and ...

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It has been so many years

since that moment of truth

when finally you were truly alone

It has been so many years

since you flew with the flames

as the organ played

something

and I looked out at the distant horizon

seeing you there drifting away

into finality

It has been so many years

since I made you a promise

I could not keep

You said

Do no...

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It is so many years

since I felt some part of me wane:

all those thousands of days

since we spoke of nothing -

could find no words;

and even many more

since there were whispers

as we lay naked in the night

or in the cottage garden

beneath the harvest sun

It is so many years

that I have known that dark void:

deep within my very soul

and in all those long ...

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Wandering through the sunlit trees

on grassy bluebell banks, brackened

by the unfurling of softly sensual shoots;

strolling in the tide turn rippling sea

as toes sift soft sea sand, silted

and lost to the advancing wave weft;

striding across bare barren felltop

on sheep shorn Spring sprung sod, surrounded 

by haze horizoned hills and hills and hills;

standing by the quie...

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In my mind

buried deep

                a golden grain

                of  Welsh

                beach

In my mind

our impressions

                in the hot sand

                where we

                lay

It is there

buried deep

                that single second

                that moment

                in which our

                minds

        ...

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In my mind

buried deep

                a golden grain

                of  Welsh

                beach

In my mind

shallow dips

                in the hot sand

                where we

                lay

It is there

buried deep

                that single second

                that moment

                in which our

                minds

           ...

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He spoke

And then it seemed

The mist and perhaps my mind swirled round

A sickening looping helix

From that still small sphere of heat.

In the chill of a dusk we descended

Beneath a frosted sickle moon

Descended into the Stygian blackness

Of land above a still lake

From which no lunar gleam escaped

The frigid darkness was intense, solid

Consuming all my senses -

...

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Too much was lost in silence

too long the time that winds

between our words of love and passion

with communion only in our minds

Too much assumed in union

of our two souls' mute desires

but I did not see her inmost needs

or hear how quietly pain suspires

I should have peeped inside

while she nightly dreamed in peace

to glimpse her mind's apparel

as it dan...

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Time stretched as she faded;

Lengthened, folded in on time

Extended, never ended.

Eternity must have seemed

An earthly hell

Peopled intermittently by friends:

A nightmare dream of pain and daemons

What superhuman will

Kept her through those summer months

What need, desire or wish

Held death's sad end at bay?

In the end, fading faded

Light left, sy...

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I find that I must live in a world

Where, between that desperate dusk and a new dawn,

And between many a dawn and its dusk,

The only reality lies in love.

To be in love in that first dawn

And in the dusk, was to feel the sun

Warm our very passion every minute of every hour,

Reality lay only in the other.

And beyond that dreadful dusk, nothing

but dawns and dusk and ...

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