the second my eyes caught your gaze,

i’ve been consumed with a powerless craze

i saw you.

your knife sits inside me stuck

but the high from this adrenaline rush 

i get through.

the two of us in a room:

please don’t leave, i better leave soon

turn me blue.

say my name in conversation 

dials up a full body sensation

this is new.

i resent the wo...

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i can’t think of any other words

i’m sorry

you’re the puzzle piece 

that didn’t fit

and i bent your corners

and snipped off where you stuck out

and although the puzzle started looking pretty 

to me 

you suffered and 

it was so obvious but

i was so stubborn ‘cause

i wanted it to look perfect but

you didn't belong 

and i'm not sure if this means much

but

...

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I’m disappointed and surprised
you turned the block and hit my eyes
ugh, the first snow in New York
it’s barely fall and now I’m cold
I wanted you gone so I wouldn’t fold

through the panic I bundle up
I’ve got to focus or we’ll be stuck
I can’t believe it’s fucking you
gliding towards me heart beats steadily
dangling hair, your own kind of weaponry

if you come any closer
soon we’ll ...

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I am not free

but tense and unwavering

I am not heard

but roused and spoken for

I am not seen

but misguided and reassured 

I am not understood 

but manipulated and suppressed

I am not felt 

but raped and ashamed

I am not yours

but degraded and sold

I am not inanimate 

but painted and wound up

I am not free, how could I ev...

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I hate pretending

a way of fending 

off others mending

from themselves

another good thing

lost like a shoe string

problems I do bring

lack purpose 

show yourself to me 

paint it heavenly 

it ends tragically

I’m confused

because you were here

I filled you with fear

now you’ve disappeared

it’s my fault

I live with a space

like a buffer place

beca...

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I think it’s finally my time

I’m fading to the back of the line

there’s not much left inside my mind

just sit still and watch me go

As far as I can’t think 

I’m damaged, my kinks

try to fix them, I won’t stop you

do what you want, I’m lost without you

I thought you’d make me feel better

now I ache and it’s not the weather 

you said that feeling was beneficia...

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do we subsist together 

I feel so far away

born between sowed leaves

my own land and sea

different enough to feel lost

similar enough to connect

individuals so complex

experience, goals, struggles

crystal clear and opaque bubbles

it seems impossible 

how we manage

simultaneously in tandem

when in orbit, will we meet

you see me and I, you

I touch you and yo...

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Me, where is she

squeeze my skin, the flesh

it’s not me

I love me

the love I have lives deep

it’s far, so far beneath my cheeks

I wish I could hug me

to make myself believe

that with a finger touch it’s me

so then I’d see

that I am not this temporary body

and what I am is free

but Earth demands an anchor, you see

unfortunately for me

because it becomes all...

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I come to at half past three
in the middle of the night
and these images won't erase
I'm haunted by the tape
once it is light
your hands disappear
my brain is mine
and my limbs come crawling back
but the tape keeps playing
I know there's no escape
because night always falls
then I fall into you
and my mind leaves me
with no thoughts left to think
I make my way
the void is frictionle...

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