They say time fills the void that grief brings 

That life becomes easier and we are supposed to feel comfort in knowing that the emptiness and the pain weaken their grips around our throats 

How happy we should be to allow these to pass 

But I would rather the emptiness fill me like a garden hose in an Olympic pool and the pain dull like an open break sealed with bandaids 

And when the...

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We sat in silence

in Room 1220,

the bustling of the nurses feet

and the machines

around us filled the space. 

beep, beep, beep. 

On other sides of the room 

as we awaited 

your final return. 

The hope from his mother

filled the air,

his life flashing before her eyes,

and all she wanted for his future,

her bright, shining boy. 

I wish I could have 

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I remember the lines 

of your face.

the wrinkles around

your eyes

when you smiled.

the curves that

framed your

cheeks and lips

as you bared 

your teeth in

a cackle or two.

your cheeks bounced

with a slight poke

to your warm,

oily skin.

your lips chapped

on the bottom left

from you constantly

biting throughout the day.

your forehead,

red a...

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An empty room

Filled with bodies

Voices of different

Tones and pitches

And volumes.

Stifled cries

In the corners,

Whispered sentiments by the photos,

Muffled screams

From his mother

In the chair

Adjacent

To the giggles that

Came from

The pew of the casket

Where I laughed

With friends

As we reminisced

Of the days that

Were simpler.

Hands a...

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I remember the curves of your face, 

The edges of your smile and your chin 

Where the thick bristle of beard hairs 

Sat unkempt and untrimmed. 

I remember the blues and greens 

In your eyes

When you looked at me 

Behind the long lashes I envied,

The ones I dreamed our children

Would one day have. 

I remember the brown hair

You kept dirty and wild,

Alwa...

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I pity those who

choose not to feel love,

to see,

love. 

For the beauty and 

the promise within

is worth the risk of 

pure, absolute,

vulnerability. 

To build a foundation

where walls are no

longer needed,

or wanted. 

The relief of 

allowing another to

break down the walls

you built up for yourself,

to allow them in

and feel the weight 

remo...

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the void is dark,

grim,

an endless abyss 

that swallows 

what tries to fill 

the emptiness of

where your life once

occupied.

it spins,

a vortex consuming

the happiness in waves

that crash around it.

time doesn't heal

the wound that came from

your leave,

it only scabs the edges

of the void,

to be picked and 

let bleed when

its ready to take m...

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When I said I wanted to feel your touch, I wanted to feel your fingertips along the ridges of my bare back, sliding down as slowly as your gaze fell upon my lips. 

Instead, you raised your hands from my hands to my heart, and you gripped it tight. Your strength diminishing the light in my eyes.

You took me when my heart was broken, and you shattered it with the palm of your hand. 

I wante...

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there are so many things i could

say to you.

but the words that i come up with most 

are, 

"i'm sorry."

it wasn't my fault, but i

take the blame.

was there more i could do?

more i could say?

none of it would have made a difference.

we would still be here, apart,

forever.

you're with me now, in a different way.

that's what i hear, what they tell me.

th...

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I twist my brain in different directions, an attempt to make sense of the tragedy that befell upon you, upon us. A rope, already twisted and tangled, a feat to straighten it out that you also took onto your shoulders, when they were already bearing the weight of your own world. In a moment, you were gone. Spirited away into another dimension, occupying the space that Mother universe has provided y...

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