Conflict of Interest
Grievances endured at the barrels of my heart,
Eroded the barriers masking the forbidden thoughts:
I dreamt of longevity, the feeling of being secure,
It was a plan, and plans inevitably become obscured,
My dream of this future became a catalyst to my motivation,
You were well aware, as it was always kept transparent,
But you harbored your guilt and let me use my motivation to su...
Monday 27th May 2019 3:17 am
Heartache
Alas, the heart with color deprivation,
It beats black and blue; to the different hues,
Internally on its own eternal demise,
In search of the hidden truth instilled in every white lie,
Consciously following it to a troubled ending,
Your ambiguous ways have left me feeling astray,
The hidden truth is just a culmination of my feeble hopes,
The hopes that have been abandoned out...
Tuesday 5th March 2019 11:35 am
Rekindled
I don’t know what our future holds,
But you feel like the home I’ve never known,
The journey may seem like an undesirable mystery,
And I can tell that you’re so direly missing me,
Missing me like I’ve been missing you,
Only the words are overlooked and never said,
The feeling becomes implied like silence in the blue sky,
I hear it, I can feel it in your soft voice,
It’s as ...
Monday 11th February 2019 2:42 am
the last note
the conversations start later in the morning, they end earlier at night, the content has become boring, the only spark comes from fights, the respect has gone out the windowpane, there’s no more “please” and “thank you”, I can tell you don’t feel the same, it’s become that way for me too, you tell me that I care too much, that I only focus on the little stuff, there’s no longer lust in your touch,...
Monday 28th May 2018 6:56 pm
easy for you
don’t dwell on the negative
easy for you to say
when the ones you love always love you back
you have all the freedom I yearn for
you’re talents are limitless
happiness revolves very close to you
you sleep so soundly
the center of everyone’s world
always cared for and supported
stop being so negative all the time
easy for you to say
how would you han...
Monday 28th May 2018 5:46 pm
lost cause
you got used to it
you realized I’m here to stay
we grew
only to then decay
our garden was once full
I planted the seeds
while you watered
but here I am now, doing both
too absent minded
or too selfish
to solve the misery
I walk with
you know what it is
it was never a secret
I was told to deal with it
but this is not compromise
...
Monday 28th May 2018 5:26 pm
Outsider
The room is filled,
Corner to corner,
Some faces look mildly familiar,
While others look like complete strangers
They all speak with open hearts,
Exchanging greetings and memories,
For as many people in the room,
There is just as much conversation,
Each anxious with their own story to tell,
Only I couldn’t understand,
They all spoke in our native language,
A langua...
Saturday 26th May 2018 10:39 pm
red roses
Overwhelmed,
It was hard to focus,
I ended up in the kitchen,
Searching and grabbing,
I wish it didn’t have to go this way,
Things could’ve been different,
It went south so suddenly,
I know no other solution,
I lay in a puddle,
Wait, when did this form?
Oh well, these clothes were half decent anyways,
Maybe the red stains represent roses,
Your favorite flower,
...Saturday 26th May 2018 9:52 pm
Out of my Grasp
Traveling like the wind,
We flew higher than the kites,
I had trouble seeing you at times,
The sun blinded me like love,
I’d only see you periodically,
Jumping from cloud to cloud,
Aren’t you proud of me?
Didn’t you notice my persistence?
You saw our love and you flipped it,
Turning the tables back to realistic,
I’ll be here in the sky;
When you realize you miss it...
Saturday 26th May 2018 4:26 am
A Trip
It is beyond me,
What a surprising sensation,
All my senses are heightened,
The world looks too beautiful to see,
Everything has become an instant distraction,
I lose focus on my tension,
Instead my focus shifts to nature’s artifacts,
The trees dance in synchronization,
The grass glows the brightest of greens,
The water ripples and pops naturally, but different than anyt...
Sunday 20th May 2018 8:47 pm
One of many
You are different from the rest,
The unique qualities you possess,
You love like no other,
Reflecting that of a mother,
You care for me like a nurse,
For better or for worse,
You walk like a queen,
Intimidating but never mean,
You talk like a philosopher,
Relating to the ones that suffer,
You are open like a book,
Always gave and never took...
Saturday 12th May 2018 10:46 pm
submerge
It eats away at my confidence,
I no longer feel the same way,
Not about you, but about myself,
The lack of passion and interest you show,
Are all the more reasons for me to feel low,
Where it all went; I wonder,
It must’ve got stuck;
through the up and the under,
Is it patiently waiting to be saved,
Or is it a dead flower waiting to decay?
Thursday 10th May 2018 8:16 pm
Bitter World
Radiantly glowing,
Like in July: it snowing,
A hopeless romance,
I stood no chance,
How stubborn I was,
To think it was just us,
A couple we could never be,
So little you thought of me,
Your choice was evident,
I soon became irrelevant,
I loved you like no man could,
It was something I never understood,
All the troubles that I was faced with,
Ma...
Tuesday 8th May 2018 6:27 pm
a friend no more
I do not recommend,
Falling in love with a friend,
It is a one way road,
So lonely and cold,
High hopes will only disappoint,
People will change like a flip of a coin,
Losing is always inevitable,
But how could I pass on a girl so incredible,
Fear that I will never find another like you,
So sincere and so true,
But maybe it is not you who I should look for,
...Tuesday 8th May 2018 4:14 pm
Junk Mail
Yes, I am bitter.
Yes, I am jealous.
Yes, I am insecure.
Yes, it hurts to watch.
Yes, I am not the victim.
Yes, you are free to choose.
Yes, I may not be your first choice.
Yes, my best is still not good enough.
Yes, I cannot accept your rejection today.
Yes, I won’t be able to accept it tomorrow either.
Yes, I apologize, I am a burden to you because I am weak,
Im...
Saturday 28th April 2018 8:52 pm
Muse
I believe everything you say,
Yet at the same time I don’t,
But who are you to blame,
It’s hard to fix what’s broke,
‘Til the end I’ll stay by your side,
In time the grey skies will turn blue,
And when the ocean changes it’s tides,
I hope your intentions are still true,
You’re there when I need,
When I am lost in despair,
I follow as you lead me,
Out of ...
Saturday 28th April 2018 8:18 pm
Disarrayed
I hate that I love,
I hate that I need it not want it,
I crave it like no other,
It has left me dysfunctional,
Anxiety attacks and mental breakdowns haunt me,
They wait for my lowest of times to take advantage,
They never love just one,
There’s always another waiting,
And it’s never me that wins,
But I shouldn’t have to compete,
When I give my heart I give it whole,
...Saturday 28th April 2018 6:48 pm
Lonesome
When your with me,
Do you think of him?
When you say you love me,
Are you even talking to me?
I fear that you’re talking through me,
I can see you drifting off in your thoughts,
I watch you stray away from shore,
Did you even plan to say goodbye,
Do I even cross your mind,
Or is it only in convenience,
If he wasn’t so far away you’d run away so quick,
That is the t...
Saturday 28th April 2018 6:21 pm
Ignorance is Not Bliss
It kills me softly,
NO. It kills me with no mercy,
What did I expect to happen?
It is not like there could ever be a happy ending,
But it isn’t over,
My foolish self will still hang and suffer,
I weigh the reward greater than the risk,
Ignoring the fact that the risk kills me before I can get the reward,
There will be no happy ending,
Life is not a fairytale,
I just w...
Saturday 28th April 2018 6:08 pm
Prisoner of the Mind
thoughts INTRUSIVE,
ALONE with my mind,
sleep is for the WEAK,
but I’m weak WITHOUT my sleep,
the demons HAUNT me,
I fear I have LOST my control,
the EVILS have tainted my soul,
is there an END to this,
only the end will fabricate a new
BEGINNING.
Wednesday 25th April 2018 3:27 pm
Love & Cigs
The smell of fresh smoke lingers,
Dry cigarette ashes lay on my fingers,
It is not home, where I want to be,
It is only where the sun shines, that I can see,
As enchanting as our love may seem,
You could never be with someone who’s only freedom is just a dream,
No matter the endless effort I could promise to give,
I could never be your Prince Charming with where I live,
...Tuesday 24th April 2018 2:06 am
Clipped Wings
I ache to live a life free from restrain,
Being born into a shell has kept me safe but in pain,
Physically I am okay, but mentally I am at war,
With the little that I have, should it hurt to want more?
Tuesday 24th April 2018 1:35 am
Haiku - Quest
Unknown destiny,
Let the world predetermine,
Break free from the chains.
Wednesday 18th April 2018 3:09 pm
Touch
When the fire is as compelling as when it had just begun,
We start to imitate the sky surrounding the golden sun,
As touch becomes more than just a trivial sensation,
We reach for each other in sudden desperation,
It’s a rooted feeling of love and lust,
A connection built upon fragmented trust,
With just enough of it to keep you going,
And enough of it to keep you grow...
Sunday 15th April 2018 9:59 pm
Bitter-Sweet
She is a never-ending story,
A tale of fantasies and glories,
The power to seduce your mind and body at will,
For a moment not, will your heart stand still,
She is sunshine and the stars,
Makes you feel like home is not too far,
An exotic flower with undeniable splendor,
Which blooms in a shower of love and care so tender,
She is to be held close through day and n...
Friday 13th April 2018 7:00 pm
Three
Carelessly I follow you to no ends,
An angel heaven-sent,
Knowing you have yet to look back at me,
Afraid you would look right past me,
But you are too busy chasing your desire,
A desire I cannot, could not accept.
So I run in negligence,
For as long as I cannot see what is infront of you,
I may continue my fantasy,
A future with you I planned to see,
Continue dr...
Thursday 12th April 2018 6:30 pm
Change
Our relationship morphed like a sculpture,
Could it ever be what it once was?
With all it’s scars and uneven shapes,
Should I be glad it may never be;
how it once was?
When love got replaced by hate,
Choice replaced by fate,
Who did we seek in each other?
Was it the truth,
or the safety of belief?
Wednesday 11th April 2018 4:13 pm
Jaded
Will she love thy again,
Or will I squander as I sin,
For I am no good,
But neither is thee,
Yet I bear unbound love,
Whom to no other can compare,
Remnants of broken hearts shattered like glass,
On the floor which I walk,
With hardly a complaint,
Staring out the clouded windows,
Filled with jaded thoughts,
For I cannot see straight,
The burden beared hinders me...
Tuesday 10th April 2018 6:20 pm
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