Ok, so last night, myself Mae and Lisa had a cracking game of Poetry Tennis. A continuous return of verse in a loosely set framework. Last night it was based around the principles of the 5WH questions (who, what, where, when, why, how).

I opened service and Mae skillfully returned, then Lisa jumped in and they both essentially kicked my arse, although in my defence I did have to stop for a drink of squash and a banana, (make everyone's dinner). The ladies were brilliant!

So I decided that this morning I will once again serve and see if anyone returns.

Today's, "Ball of choice," will ideally be a minimum of one line in rhyme on a 10 beat, that is each syllable hit a rhythmic, Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, (iambic, so if we get stuck we can quote a bit of Shakespeare). It's a bugger, I have to tap it out with my fingers ?

I'll try and start with a two line service.
And it's an open match so anyone can pick up their metaphorical racquet and swing away.

First serve:


I'll pick up this ball and serve it with force,
In the hope that you will return of course,

Oh, just one more thing I really must say,
The point is to have a laugh when you play,

I will play with out remorse



Feeling kind of reckless
Lets begin and unpack this ?

Ok if the ball is now returning,
I'm open to receive some verbal learning,?

I hope you have a steady mind
To embrace these word's ' that you will find

A beautiful return from the young lady at the nets.

I have the steadiest mind and hand of all,
Which is why I will not let this tennis ball fall,

(Kaboom, drop shot return. Actually I think I went a bit Dr Seuss there ?)

The ball in your hands
Is not as big as the ball in my pants
After I shoot this over the net
I will show of my victory dance

Hahaha

Ooh, ooh, ooh Dr Seuss return ?

That tennis ball, that tennis ball I surely will not let it fall,
I shall not let it fall at all, no falling for that tennis ball,

(Ha, ha, that's it the rules are out of the window and the freestyling begins! ?)

Rules wore made for braking says the disobedient student (haha)

His ball's' his ball's
Both big and small
Some will drop
And none at all

But though his balls may drop, or not,
Have counted how many balls he's got,
'cos he had a problem with one, that's true,
It was much bigger than the other two.

(forehand smash I think ?)

A heavy weight in his hand
I hope it was apart of his plan
During his switch
Did he notice
My dog ran of with the rest

Hahah

Aha, yes he did see the dog with the rest,
But noticed the dog had left the best,
Which he had collected by his pet pig,
Which he had disguised with a dress and a wig.

(Just over the net I think ?)

He was surely mistaken
For I turned his pig into bacon
The ball's that wore left,wore damaged
So I used them to make me some cabbage

Cabbage from tennis balls? that takes some chewing,
While you dealt with pig did you notice the mooing,
For while bacon was makin' all that noise and row,
Covered the sound of my stealth ninja cow,

For my name is stewy
I love all things chewy
The cow that was mooing
Is now in the pot stewing
His ninja style tricks
He copied watching Netflix
And now he is cooked
And rightly so fu##d

This is hilarious haha

Ooh first set to Ms Donohoe I believe that last one kicked ass!?

An ass of which I will now speak ?!


For my ass is a donkey, though his braying is honky he's much more switched on than my cow,
The pig may be cooked and the ninja cow f####d, but my honky ass has the ball now.

(New balls, second service ?)

Your donkey is wonky
And went of track
The silly little f####r
Gave me all my balls back I put them in my bag
And lost my flipping key
Their is no way
You can take them back from me

Ah, but your bag has a hole, like the hole in your bucket,
And the balls all fell out, when you look you'll say, "F##k it!"
And while my wonky donkey received an ass kicking,
It allowed me to deploy my samurai chicken.

(He plays a lob shot high into the air!!?)

I wonder how that blind mole
Dug such a gaping hole
In my bag
Of all place's
I stole your chicken for
The sporting races
He was thrown way to high
And landed on me
when he fell from the sky
Scraps and scratches i did endure
A warrant will be issued that's for sure.

NOoooo! My chicken lies spanked and vanquished,
Yes that's right, my chickens been spankquished,
Spankquished I say and spankquished I mean,
And a spankquished chicken is something obscene,

(2nd set Ms Donohoe! Bugger ?)

My heart bleeds for your spankquished chicken

Although he was delicious
And quite finger licking

I feel as though I ate to much
And all this food that was rushed
Has made me feel
Like im about to bust
I plan to never eat again
Please no more chicken's cows or hens

My God people! I had no idea such a match was taking place! Listen you too, seriously I have winter finals! I can't keep drifting! So I'll leave you with a lame rhyme before I go back to my dungeon and to the boring task that awaits! You continue, you're obviously deep in the zone and on a roll; kudos! -and I'll go back to studying and maybe I'll come back later and kick your arses! Okay?
(By the way I love the fact that you say "arse" Jason?)

Here goes!

Poetry match breaking on WOL
I can't focus at all
Though iambic pentemeter is Greek
even though I myself am a geek (with an R stuck in the middle!)
I can't for the love of me
figure out
how to write this way,
so I'm out!
Now, now, my little friends
please do not you fret!
Keep sending balls over the net!
Meanwhile I have to go;
Studying awaits.
I'm really stuck.
but baby, I'll be back!

(lame; all work and no word-play makes mae a dull gal)

P.S. Wow you guys! Excellent! Mad skills!?

Thank you Mae for that sane, interjection,
And Lisa, the farmyard would not stand inspection,
For I have sacrificed all my trained beasts,
And you the proud Victor must enjoy the feast,
And though their voices will no longer be heard,
At least we invented a cracking new word,
I have been spankquished, and this much I know,
It's Game set and match to Ms Donohoe.?

J. x

Oh, ha ha. I need more practice ???

Favourite line, "My heart bleeds for your spankquished chicken."

I think I may possibly laugh about that all night. That was definitely the killer blow?! Brilliant Lisa just brilliant!

Jay this was the highlight of my day, so much fun was had .. Thank you millions x

Mae cant wait for you to join next time

Obviously the therapy didn't work...

Alan this is the new found therapy (haha)

No need for professionals

Or any straight jackets


Just crafty imagination

Oo and of course , your racket ??

?

Oh by the way Lisa, I love the fact that you even answered your friend Alan's question in rhyme. Good lord girl you're unstoppable.?

I have never had the pleasure,
Of speaking to alan

I bet underneath that sniddy comment,
He is really a good'in

I took it on the chin,
Contemplating,
It was because of the win

Not been able to control one's tongue
Is really such a sin


I can say this,
Because ive also done the same

Can we leave the sniddy remarks,

And peacefully enjoy our game?
?

Well said, like a true gracious champ,
When it comes to pleasantries, I'm in your camp.?

? humbled

Good morning world

Morning, got to go out and replace our microwave, it blew up last night.
Have to tell you, I'm still laughing about my spankquished chicken.

Every time I think of it, I keep thinking, at no point at the start of that match could either of us foretold the line, "My heart bleeds for your spankquished chicken."
It's just so brilliantly silly it still cracks me up ???

Well, that's put dampener on my day,
My car is poorly, it's been towed away,
I heard a loud "clunk," the first of many,
My suspicion, it's going to cost lots of pennies.?

Im so sorry to hear about your unlucky day

jay


Its a pitty you live so far away

I could of helped you out yesterday

For the kid's don't eat meals as there cooked

So in to the bin

My microwave got f####d


I dont own a car

But I would of lent you my truck

We'll that is a lie

Because im not a guy

But it's better to giggle

Instead of a cry ?

I would have gladly accepted any assistance,
From you, it's true, and with no resistance,
You may not have a car or even a truck,
But you'd make me laugh, so I don't give a f##k.

So thank you my friend, and a good friend you are,
Because you made me smile despite my spankquished car.?

That word has been used alot in my home since invented by you...

Haha
its a darn good funny word
I may use it alot
(lol)

Spankquished car
Hahaha

Yep, £234 quid later, and I now consider it unspankquished?, I tell you what though Lisa it's a relief cos I thought it was going to be nearer to double that.

And yes, I'm the same. I've re-read that last match quite a few times and every time I get to your line about the spankquished chicken it still cracks me up.

Great idea by the way to stay on the same topic and just bat lines back and forth.?

That's great news jay ?
Happy for you..

You deserve the luck..


Agreed.. I love a challenge and its very challenging ...

Keeps the brain ticking..

Another match soon perhaps, but this time you choose the ball, not that we'll stick to the rules for long anyway, we're just too rebellious!?