First up - a word that transmits instant weariness and dreariness ... WORKSHOP.

Aaaargh! Even writing it makes me feel desperately short of oxygen.

Unless you are an engineer, you haven't earned the right to use it.

Even if you are an engineer, be careful. Repeated use of the word 'workshop' - especially by drippy middle class types - can actually kill.

Especially, never talk of 'workshopping' a poem. Look at all the lives ruined by addiction to workshops. You see the zombie workshop junkies on the edges of poetry nights ... especially those held in libraries or publicly-funded arts centres. Their smiles never reach their eyes.

They've been workshopped into a living death.

Workshops, workshopping. STOP THIS EVIL!!!

not even if I wear me toetectors ?

toetectors ...now that's what I call industrial Wiggin sexy! And I know sexy ... coz I once strolled down Rotherhithe's main street wearing a skirt (tastefully teamed with hiking socks and industrial boots) and a lairy poetry blouse.

Any road, what's happened to this discussion forum?

It's become SO FECKING BORING!! Have the workshop zombies taken over the asylum? I blame Hebden Bridge.

Take a deep breath, Steve. We really aren't such a dead lot. I never wanted to attend a workshop, ever, for the explicit and implied reasons you give so vociferously. But, I did attend a couple, for sheer courtesy as much as anything, and I found them quite stimulating. As a steady diet, workshops are probably stultifying to innate talent as they can become a crutch. IMO, mixing the more seasoned writers with beginners on a regular basis is awkward. While everyone appreciates fresh imagination, and desires to encourage new writers, the more experienced writers will begin to chaff at the restrictions. Being the eternal 'teacher' becomes tiresome. IMO, they need much more room for creativity, the chance to 'cross swords' with other poets of similar skill.

Workshop is a great word to use, especially for Write Out Loud writers who are not too proud to be practical and down-to-earth, get their hands dirty with ditties on real life. It's a working-class term: we work in workshops, Write Out Loud, the poetry workshop of the world!
Workshop, workshop, workshop!
The whirring of the cogs, and clanking of machinery as another poem is beaten and shaped, moulded and trimmed, before rolling off the production line into the blogshed. Easy as rolling off a blog.

Oh Im a poet and I'm all right
I work all day and I write all night

It's late and my glass is not full.

"Accessible". "His poetry is so accessible" What tosh!
The word "accessible" should only ever be used in conjunction with wheelchair ramps and crotchless panties.
And while we're at it - "partner", meaning "we're courting".
Batman had a partner. The Lone Ranger and Tonto were partners.

Yeah, "accessible" is horrible when applied to poetry.

But John you've got me all hot and bothered with your talk of crotchless panties.

A friend of mine used to edit a mag called "Damp Gusset".

Who has the most virtue - a writer working in the porn trade, or a poet running "workshops"?

I know who I'd rather have a pint with!

And I think accessible is a great word when used in conjunction with poetry - far better than inaccessible or underpants for that matter...

Workshops are accessible... : )

Er, hang on a tick! Batman and Robin . . . Tonto and the Lone Ranger . . . Need I say more . . . .

"Swing those pants, you groovy young people."

"We know a song about that, don't we?"

Sign up to a workshop and sign away your freedom.

Workshops lead to ... public funding ... lead to ... State-sanctioned morality ... lead to the death of art.