Why do I miss those moments that I longed for
When everything seemed too good to be true

Why do I miss those moments that I lived for
When everything seemed so complete and so special

Why do I miss...
Every hug,
Every kiss,
Every breath,
Every word,
Your touch,
Your feel,
Your laughter,
The pain,
The joy,
Feeling complete...

Why do I miss those moments
When I was so happy, I've cried


Why do I miss those moments
When I was so happy that I've lived

why do I feel so alone

Hi all:

This is my first poem, would like to hear your honest opinion on this...

Thanks,
Hari

Hi Hari,
For a first poem this is good in that you express simply without getting bogged down. As I said to someone else recently though, love lost is a very difficult subject to write about because there are so many poems written about it. To find a new way to express it and evoke feelings in the reader is therefore very difficult. However unless we do, readers tend to switch off. I don't think I've ever been tempted to try in fact - or maybe that's for other reasons. I will leave commenting on structure up to someone else - that isn't my forte. Good luck with the poetry - reading the works of others normally helps - I have found a lot of inspiration from it.
x

Hey:

Thanks so much Isobel