thanks for the comments on 'a day in the life ' Aly - sorry for delay in replying - been in catch up mode for a month!

Hi Aly, thanks for taking the time to read and leaving a comment on I was young. I really appreciate it. I'll see what I can do about it.

Aly, welcome to Write Out Loud, and I hope you find something of what you're looking for here. We're a poetry site specifically, although you're very welcome to post prose here as well. While I can't offer to critique your work as a whole, I can maybe pass across some advice. This is what I think is important:

1) Read as many other writers as you can. When you like something they do, reflect on it, and try to work out how they did it.
2) Avoid writing about abstract concepts too much. Concentrate on describing particular objects and incidents, and maybe by doing so, they will reveal greater truths.

But if what is most important to you at this time, is simply to express your feelings, then go on doing that. Don't worry about whether it's great literature. The main question is, do you feel better after writing it? Maybe that's the most important thing for you at this time. Hope this is of some help. Greg

Hello Aly - the art of short story writing is
challenging and demands both imagination and
a wide vocabulary. It pays to invest in the
tools of any writer's trade: a good dictionary
and a Roget's Thesaurus (often obtained cheaply
in S/H/charity shops).
Mixing tenses can be effective but needs
practice and careful revision to ensure it works in any given context.
The appropriate use of language in any given
context takes practice and thought. As I
remarked elsewhere, the term "bark(s)" cannot
be accurately applied to a woman's voice in
most people's minds and another word can be
substituted. This understanding/knowledge
is not acquired "overnight" but keep at it!
You possess the most important ingredient - the
wish to create...and the polish that the right
words give to your work will surely come with
diligence. discipline and application.
Like all arts, writing short stories demands
proper devotion towards getting it right and
the rewards are self-evident to creator and reader. Finally, age is no bar to excellence.
You show commitment and that is more important!
When you love and respect something, you always
want to do the best you can...right?
Best wishes.
MC