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30 pounds I still remember laying in the fucking tub Holding my head because it was bleeding He wasn’t facing me so he couldn’t see it He was still having a fit till he heard me say my head hurts it’s Bleeding. My lip was busted I had bruises all over me. Blood was in my hair and all over the tub At that moment you couldn’t imagine me gone You began to clean me up. Once I was cleaned the spotlight was back on you, You began to weep of how sorry you felt, I didn’t understand your tears because there wasn’t a mark on you. I tried to soothe you not because I felt sympathetic but because I didn’t want my aching pathetic body bleeding in the tub again. You offered that night to sleep on the floor to give me the space that I desired and more. I told you no, I needed to be held even if it was by the one who held my fate at his hands. You came into bed and held me tight promised me that your hands wouldn’t make me fear at night As you slept away all your guilt, I lie awake fearing your body and its built my body ached from all the pain it took. You weren’t even that big you weighed 30 more pounds more than me, but when it came to fear you had 30 pounds over me that I couldn’t bear. Now I lay awake next to a man who considers me his treasure. Even with this being Said, I still can’t seem to bury the rotten treasures you left me. The memories that can’t be erased despite my eraser losing all its strength. Now what do I do with all this extra weight?
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