Wayne McLellan

Biography

I generally write rhyming narrative poems. Something that tells a story, maybe with a twist or turn to take the reader somewhere unexpected. I generally like light hearted/humorous poetry, although I do enjoy the odd dark one.

Samples

"Fattening up time" the wall calendar read which meant only one thing to old farmer Ted. Christmas was coming and there's money to be made you see the bigger the bird the more he'd be paid. He'd saved up all year and bought high quality feed to ensure that his flock was the best he could breed. So this year Ted's turkeys would be the tastiest in town and the best biggest birds would bring more bucks per pound. Last Christmas one turkey was the luckiest bird you see, she was too small to be sold so her death was deferred. And being the braniest of birds ever born on the farm meant she could outsmart farmer Ted instead of coming to harm. Whilst Farmer Ted fed her friends to fatten the flock she counted her calories to avoid the chopping block. And as Ted's children had played, their fondness had grown for "Tiny Tina the turkey" as she was affectionately known. This year she told other turkeys of why they were bred "they'll feed you and fatten you and then cut off your head and then stuff and roast you and on you they'll be fed" The head turkey was horrified and asked "what could we do" "should we run and hide or hold a farmyard coup?" "Don't worry" replied Tina "I've hatched a plan so daring" "I'm convinced it won't fail cos I've spent the last year preparing" So she told the turkeys her plan of what she had devised; "We'll fool the farmer this year by going disguised" "I've collected wool from the sheep for the perfect scam and made us costumes to wear as part of my plan to avoid the oven this year if disguised as a lamb" Next day the farmer was up with the cracking of dawn and couldn't believe what he saw as he stepped out on his lawn No turkeys in sight, he could see none around and after searching his farm, none could be found He stood in his farmyard scratching his beard wondering how all his turkeys could have just disappeared. And why were his lambs walking with a waddle? and instead of a bleat they spoke with a gobble!

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

Blog entries by Wayne McLellan

A Stranger Calls. ....... (17/06/2019)

You Cheating Bitch! (16/06/2019)

The Silent Scream (15/06/2019)

Coco the Clown (14/06/2019)

The Lighthouse (13/06/2019)

Boy what a Lady! (11/06/2019)

The Princess and the Frog (08/06/2019)

Where the sea meets the sky......... (27/04/2019)

A turkey in sheep's clothing (24/04/2019)

Blog link: https://www.writeoutloud.net/blogs/waynemclellan

Favourite Profiles

Sarah Louise mcnee