Like most husbands

I am afraid of

my wife

 

she holds my fate

in her hands

 

if I screw up

there is the dreaded

silent treatment

then there is

that Look

 

but worst of all

is the fact

she holds the power of life

and death over me

meaning the food supply

 

if I don't behave

she won't make supper

and I will starve to death

on the couch

see what I mean

 

the way to a man's heart

is through his stomach

every man is like a baby

that must be fed on schedule

 

so all men can be controlled

by withholding food and therefore

all men live in fear of offending

the provider of life

 

who like God

can take you out in a heartbeat

and then go back to doing her nails.