In the days of yore and

Specsavers you went to

Opticians with myopia but

No more silly squinting or annoying

Puffs of air, now

You put your wife and

Kid in the car for a sixty-mile

Road test so

Dispensing with my glasses and

Wearing a blindfold I set off I

Knocked down two old ladies killed a

German shepherd and pranged a brand-new

Porsche Cayenne but it did the trick and I

Got home safely, of course its just as I thought a

Diagnosis of chronic tunnel vision but with these new

Blinkers I'll soon have eyes in the

Back of my head