Folk have too much time on their hands

This mad lockdown's stoking mischief

Families living on top of each other

From bad neighbours there's no relief

 

They put up a new bird table next door

State of the art, four feeders on a pole

Luring all the birds from my garden

It was my finches and robins they stole

 

I was unable to sleep at the shock

Worried almost out of my wits

How was I to recover my flock,

My personal aviary of long-tailed tits?

 

Last night I got a pair of bolt-cutters

Soon their bird table was no more

As I crept back over the fence there

It lay in pieces on the moonlit floor

 

I'd been savouring my moment of triumph

But my neighbours had CCTV in their bushes

Yesterday the police arrived in force just

As I watched the return of my thrushes

 

From my police cell I hear dawn bird song

Quite the saddest sound I ever heard for

I face the magistrate tomorrow and

My brief says I'll get six months bird