The Autobiography of a Tin of Peaches

I don't like this talk about "shelf life"

or labels that say "best before",

and I do wish that man wouldn't put back my can

'cos She reckons it's been on the floor.

I heard that comment about me looking bent,

but it's ‘cos I got pushed out of true,

and here in the dark things look pretty stark

for these young tins just cover the view.

The stackers examine my bottom

to see when my "sell by" will be,

if its getting too close I shall get quite morose

for a bargain I don't want to be.

Don't think really it's on when they say "two for one",

‘cos I don't fancy going with him.

But what makes me feel blue

is when they state "three for two"

or to me, it sounds like a sin.

I've heard stories of losing your label

and things that then might have been,

of them opening the tins for the table,

and consuming whipped cream with baked beans.

The tale goes she got really flustered

but She said she was setting a trend,

it was better than sausage and custard

and it went down the same in the end.