I've been foolish

unguarded and exposed

vulnerable, ripe for the plucking 

how clearly he saw this

how oblivious I must have seemed

totally unheeding

trying to live the dream

 

Ruthlessly he burrowed into me

what he sought I do not know

one swift move, a hand, a pillow

I was no more

fear and shame soared

 

Rushing into everything 

brings forth nothing

trying to escape the pain

now disassociating 

shrinking in onto myself

familiar emotions slithers in

 

But something is new...

 

a comforting hand to hold

what does this mean exactly 

suffering doesn't have to be cold?

 

Do I relinquish self-reliance

do I break the mold

what do I do though 

when that hand is nowhere to behold?

 

Don't get attached 

you pathetic fool

keep a safe distance 

stick to what you know

And play it cool!

 

This wasn't supposed to happen 

I was making progress and doing great

it's all tarnished now,

though I hope it's not too late

to start again, 

bounce back,

and abate the hate.

 

 

(PSYCHOBABBLING )