The pandemic's killing the divorce rate

Those with any sense are not straying

My wayward tendencies are history

These days I spend my time praying

 

What good is my cute smile anymore?

Why bother all that dressing to impress?

When you're stuck in the house bingeing

How to find someone nice to undress?

 

When I do venture out a mask is essential

But my George Clooney chin is invisible

Why did I spend a fortune on a new nose?

My COVID efforts at seduction are risible

 

Only my mince pies are easily available

Trouble is the left one is a different tint,

Worse than that is the one on the right

Notorious for its diabolical squint

 

I foresee a boom in cosmetics for eyes

The only organs wide-open to inspection

But as I cant afford corrective surgery

Dark glasses for now hide my imperfection

 

The era of face masks is killing romance

Seduction will be consigned to history

The only winners are those with bad teeth

Who will save a king's ransom on dentistry