£300

 

When I bought a new car

there were books in the boot

and a black jacket

a pen that didn’t work

a CD that was R‘n’B

so scraped it didn’t play

 

When I bought a new car

my old one went for scrap

squashed it up into a cube

Its registration was LICK

I swapped it for an NUJ

Funny how people don’t exist

until you need them

Funny how now every

car is maroon

Funny how we counted

42 Citreon’s on the way

to Saltaire

Funny how people relate

 

When I bought a new car

It wasn’t really new at all

and the lady at Hastings Direct

asked me on the phone

if I was an actor or performer

or something like that?

I said would be nice

The man in the boot shop

said he thought I’d probably

be a social worker

that was his first choice

second choice

a teacher

 

When I bought a new car

I also got walking boots

some canvas

stretcher bars

boots for Max

and flowers

  

Good things to spend

your wedding money on

I believe so

 

When I bought a new car

there was a green rug in

it from IKEA

a bottle of antifreeze

a sticker for AIRE FM

Funny how its maroon

and French

Funny how my head touches the ceiling

Funny how it doesn’t open on one side

 

When I bought a new car

there were books in the boot

and a black jacket

a pen that didn’t work

a CD that was R‘n’B

so scraped it didn’t play