As I stare out this window

down to the little people of the world 

I wonder and wish 

what if i was the beautiful tall girl with the blonde curls?

can I see into her soul?

by staring out this tear streaked window?

can I have her life?

and trade her these frightening memories that float around in limbo...    

shes so radiant and thin

Everything that I am sadly not

she has the most glowing skin

while mine is covered in bruises after we faught..

I wonder does she know what turmoil is?

does she know what its like to be abandoned?

does she know what night terrors are?

I dont think she can even imagine.

this window pane is my door to happiness

but wait, how am I supposed to get out of here?

no matter how hard I try I cant escape this

I cry as I try  to fight these tears

why cant I be her?

why cant I be free?

why did all these bad things have to occur 

why am I now my own worst enemy?