I fell for you the night we met
Wore my Star Wars shirt and yoga pants
Felt no need to impress you
He’s just another tattooed bearded boy here to seduce you
It was awkward at first you wouldn’t shut up
I thought about calling my sister and telling her to make some shit up
We had some drinks and started laughing
Our sense of humor melted together, it was like lava swirlin with magic
Neither of us had laughed this hard in forever
Silently connected by tear filled hearts and broken forevers
You told me she didn’t keep the baby
It haunts you all these years later, still, on the daily
Told you he got her pregnant twice
I was still gluing my heart back together from
that blow to my chest on this very night.
Your smile made my knees weak
Your smokey laugh made my heart skip a beat
The way you kissed me brought me to my knees
I always wandered if you thought “here’s goes another one falling to my feet...”
I swore to myself I would stay strong
I’d keep you at a distance while falling hopelessly in love
Your broken pieces looked too beautiful not to pick up
Hey handsome boy here’s my heart, I noticed you needed one.
Months passed you were always busy
Except for that day you called me, concert and fishing
Spent the day together drinking on the water
Old man at the tackle shop said how long y’all be married? Shit made my heart flutter.
I knew once you left that day it would be a while before you came back, so I stayed
Single but subtly warning you over text while I secretly wept
Called you a few times to scream at you after finding out where you slept
Kept warning you and saying I love you...
What hurt the most is you didn’t even notice when I left you
Your heartbreak started with a simple text
What are you doing today? Your heart wasn’t prepared for what came next
You were wrong to think I’d keep waiting for you to get your shit together
It hurt me to walk away but loving you wasn’t much better
Told you I’m seeing someone now
I tried to warn you wish you would have listened
If you were in front of me you’d have seen that tear in my eye glisten.
Said you’re sad about this right now
Told you I’ve been sad about this, what’s the difference?
Is it true what they say?
A woman’s heart breaks first and then she’s walks away?
A man is free from the pain and then his heart breaks, oblivious his life just faded away.
He’s running towards her while she’s walking the other way
He’s screaming her name and she’s deaf to it now
Only reminder that she ever loved him is that crack in her heart and a beautifully sad smile.
I still love you but I gotta let you go now
I hope you realize I didn’t do this to hurt you I just wanted to you listen
Hear me when I’m speakin and beggin
I begged you to stop me from walking out the door but you didn’t flinch
Walked so slowly every step I took away from you was only an inch
Calmly shut the door behind me
And in that moment thats when he found me...

Written November 2018