It’s a matter of no small pride to me that I’ve been considered awkward all my life.  Teachers, employers, relatives, friends and enemies alike will all concur.  So it was with some surprise that Daughter No 2 came up with a plan which even I had to admire – to piss folks off even after I was dead.

To understand the beauty of this I need to tell a little back-story.

During the floods and storms of February this year our main road south to Donny (A19) was overtopped by the waters of the floodplain for the River Aire.  Particularly badly affected was the western side of the road, from which direction the prevailing strong winds came.  Constant pounding by the storm waves eroded that side of the road.  When it receded it was clear the road surface had been degraded and would pose a huge danger to traffic, which would only aggravate the degradation.

The Highways Agency declared it unsafe and closed it for a one mile stretch between our village and the next.  Bear in mind that this is the main trunk road from Donny via Selby to York and its closure meant a 12 mile detour to get to that village a mile away.

To many this was a huge disappointment as the road had only been closed one year earlier for three months for repairs to Haddlesey Bridge. 

The same time frame was expected this second time.  Then delays set in.  The banks had to dry out to allow work on the supporting earth buttresses; the road itself had to be cleared of tons of flotsam; trees and bushes had to be removed; the subsurface stabilised; services had to be relayed (and relayed); the top surface planed off and removed; reinforcing stone rubble had to be set at either side.  And Covid.

To cut a long story (a little bit) shorter, the road is still closed and the best estimate by the Council for its reopening is May/June 2021.

Anyway (you remember this was about my being awkward) Daughter No2, recognising the immense pleasure it would give me ,suggested that when I eventually shook a six she would inform the police that she had buried my body under the road.

Genius or what?