the problem is
the problem is memories.
they last too long. they linger in my head.
the good, the bad, they all get mixed together.
i remember all the wrong, all the shit i said,
so i sit here wondering if i'll remember forever.
the problem is emotions.
they make me feel. i'd rather be numb.
i never asked for them, but my body wants to react.
they're all so real. can you take some?
they're overwhelming, overfilled - packed.
the problem is the brain.
the chemicals in my mind make me think things that i never would.
it's a beautiful organ just too strong .. too powerful.
but with time i'll find that it'll get better and it should.
i can create my own path - get out of the cycle.
Aviva Rifka Bhandari
Tue 15th Dec 2020 20:02
I'm torn between being sad for you about having all those problems to write about or happy for you that you've written such a great poem about it - I feel like I should be sad about the problems (and I am) but then I feel like maybe that's poem-envy disguised as best intentions, so then I go back to being glad you wrote the poem, and then i am really guilty that I'm valuing poetry more than human suffering - I am torn up! If I take these two pieces and weave them together a bit then I think it summarises as I'm really sorry that you had those difficult problems but at least on the bright side... based on the evidence of this poem if anyone is going to be able to get out of the cycle it'll be you.