Oscar is the light of her life

in bed she nips off his ticks

drowns them in water, she's

dispensed with other pricks

 

but Oscar meets his nemesis

she's spurned him for Teddie

he's well-bred and better-hung

soon they were going steady

 

locked out of her bedroom

Oscar hear animal sounds

tackle cut off long ago, now

his mistress out of bounds

 

hissing at the hated usurper

Oscar spit, snarled and bit,

Teddie decided on revenge;

how to kill the ginger git?

 

best arrange some accident

Ted's Jaguar, big and brown

would catch him unawares

run the little bleeder down

 

bathing in the noonday sun

on tarmac Oscar reclined

Jaguar roared and pounced

the God of felines was kind

 

car swerves missing Oscar

demolishing the garden wall

Ted and pet Jag brown-bread

Oscar hears her frantic call

 

in bed she nips off his ticks

Teddie had become a bore

Oscars's emerald eyes stare

at the open bedroom door