I gave my all into this dhit 

I put everything I had into this bitch 

Just to get chewed up

Left dying,crying, lying in a ditch 

Painful eyes from crying 

Lonely nights, I was dying 

For all the times, I was coming up and could only afford to feed you; and not myself 

This for all the ones I left, even when u couldn’t let me be myself 

I put myself on the shelf just so u co...

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A tapestry of lives gone by

Rich threads from what we cry

Frays of the past evoking

Gaze of the future corrupting

My stream carries its fallen leaves

Its purpose only defined by what it receives

Broken mind and beaten guilt

A blackened soul only I have built

Tears like beads down a porcelain doll

She is there to no longer make me whole

As I possessed a poiso...

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In the sun you hear me cry

In the moon you see me stand

I rise to your call

I fall to your mercy 

My hands rest on your knees 

My head bowed in your heart 

Too much for me

Too much for sin

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I am a son of the heavens. 

I do not fall,

I can only fly.

The way the wind whispers

determines my path.

It has never once led me astray.

A gentle breeze ruffles my feathers,

while the sun's bright smile warms my face.

Clouds dance above my weightless form,

forming all kinds of shapes to entertain.

The world turns as do I.

Leaping carelessly through the endless sky...

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Every day,

Travelling through Life,

We encounter Them,

Some, maybe true,

Yet many,

Disguised.

They have,

An ever changing mind,

Facing me,

They call me sweet,

Behind my back?

They say I'm rude,

They call me good,

Then say I'm bad,

They say you're the Best,

And then?

Nevermind.

Whatever they want,

Whoever they be,

Let them say,

W...

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I

i'll be honest,
I refuse to love you. 
my chest sits in knots 
even in this revelation
the would-be butterflies remain trampled
and God knows they fly all around him
im not sure they even had the chance
to cocoon, your slime-gripped words
of small flames devoured their bloom.
No. Yes. No, im not bitter. Im selfish. 
I'm greedy with want, a desire-is-me factory of production
I hold ...

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Love is a strange thing isn't it. Many got blessed by the love as it transformed their lives picking them up from bottom and taking them to the heights of the sky. And for some its a curse that only put sorrow and misery in their lives.

Once someone said something very beautiful about love and who loves the most a man or a woman.

By every mistake a man made and woman forgives just adds ...

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Living a sad life, in a bad way.
Doing al-kinda stuff in a bad way
found love but it slipped away
waiting for the end as I sway

In beginning, it wasn't this bad at all
but my stupid decision created this down-fall
looking at a tree wondering if it's tall
so I can hang myself to end it all

falling for love was great
but falling in betrayal invites hate,
Now this agony, sorrow, and pai...

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Have you ever wondered that in our life betrayal is something that everyone has faced at times when it was least expected? Why does it happen only when we think or we expect that this can't happen to us? Or at times when things were going smoothly in our lives then out of the sudden betrayal shows its presence, like wassup my ...

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From unseen messages,
And unanswered calls.
One day you'll realize that
There's someone dying just to be heard.
Looking for that one person
To be there for them.
When they need you the most.

They are the last ones there to be seen,
And that's very mean.

I just wanna be heard
When I'm about to burst.
I feel like drowning in the flood
Of my own tears with a greater thrust.

...

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Sometimes when a relation ends 

You often look back at him and

Find him smiling with others so

So just think that he was never yours.

But by that moment you don't realize

What he's hiding behind that smile.

You'd never know what he's been through

And still unable to get over it.

But he just can't express what he feels

So he just ignores it all and smile back.

Wit...

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In The Garden Of Gethsemane

Crucifixion Charlie

Never one to miss

The chance to bring his Saviour down

With a Judas kiss

Sitting in the shadows

Full of vinegar and piss

Hammer and nails ready

For a martyr such as this

Resurrection Charlie

Basking in the glow

Of a joyous blessed outcome

And a dose of ‘told you so’

Never doubted for a minute

Always...

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in my cupboards

skeletons hang

still mouths strangers to the songs they sang

I take them out

bone-dry and hoar

wan skulls shorn of the locks they wore

pelvic sculptures

sharp as a blade

silent shrines to hectic love they made

bereft of flesh

that lit my fire

no lithe joints but threads of thin wire

hot tears drop on

memories clean,

pick...

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she conjured my fate

juggled my dreams

with her visions my memory teems

I was treading water

sitting on my hands

she took me off to distant lands

hands that soothed

performed illusions

making sense of my delusions

shelter in her cloak

solace from her eyes

with my pain her mercy vies

that charming smile

she shone abroad

seemed to lift my...

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the tears are gone

her eyes are dry

dawn breaks unblinking in the sky

I've confessed all

my conscience clean

surprised she did not make a scene

all those women

the casual lies

yet no questions or fluttering whys

no hint of shock

her sheets are blue;

I told her what she already knew

she'd sucked it up

loved me so much

forgiven all just f...

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things used to be simple

lovers dawning undiluted

before he turned up and

left my dreams polluted

I knew she had a history

you sensed it in her eyes

she'd seen many lovers

said a host of goodbyes

hoped she'd seen sense

woken up and matured

that restless streak still

her carnal urges cured

my money she was after

I knew it from the start

one-w...

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there's a point on the map when

doubts and desapir veer to meet

and idly parade nowhere down a

lonely slum of a one-way street

no compass charts this latitude

where time gross reality bends

for its a quarter of lifeless loss

the geography where love ends

I've drifted here so many times

its memories my endless bane

before me for I sense a reprise

I am sure...

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Oscar is the light of her life

in bed she nips off his ticks

drowns them in water, she's

dispensed with other pricks

but Oscar meets his nemesis

she's spurned him for Teddie

he's well-bred and better-hung

soon they were going steady

locked out of her bedroom

Oscar hear animal sounds

tackle cut off long ago, now

his mistress out of bounds

hissing a...

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Betrayal

Deception

Doubt

Resentment...

Affection

Attention

Romance

Nonexistent...

Coitus routine

Communication forced

I sit bewildered

Feeling used

With no one to blame

For I indeed

Should be the accused

I stare at you

But you're not there

You've been replaced

Replaced by fear

I long to see you again

The man I met

...

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I was enjoying sitting in the garden, pondering the beauty and the timelessness of nature, compared to the fickleness and unreliability we see in our leaders and found myself writing a villanelle. First draft below – may yet be edited but I wanted to share it now.

Constancy

Reminders of a life, a dream now torn
Scabia, flags and tulips, forget me nots
Behind the privet hedge a rolling lawn

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cold roses strewn secured my love

engendering that rude wayward fire

moving my heart to defy tomorrow

trapping me amid my frank desire

she left only thorns stuck in my mind

without a word I was left overturned

ship-wrecked shocked and abandoned

I watched from afar as my life burned

her place was rank with faded roses

the old perfume of eternal betrayal

in he...

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Your hand slips into mine, 
the fortune-teller notices 
our smiles with glittering eyes
she’s convinced 
there’s a future between us
she smiles & invites us in

Laying down cards one by one 
it reveals the betrayal and secrets
that will keep us
from the love that has swept us into a whirlwind 

We turn to each other stunned
but a laugh begins, 
she replies, “Sorry, no refunds”

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In the midst of a pandemic

Your biggest concern happens to be

My weight

And yet the bliss of the pandemic

Was not having to hear you

The deadweight

I was wondering when your time would come

To be quite honest I was surprised

You are a little late

Here's your rescinded wedding invitation

Not that we planned it to your taste

It's on this perfectly whit...

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The real is rare,

The fake doesn't care...

One who ought to be dear;

Alas! Brings despair.

My search goes everywhere,

To meet the one who's sincere.

That one supposed to bring cheer,

And no trick play, only an option fair.

Happiest I was when he was near,

He wouldn't let my eyes shed a tear...

In my loneliness I sometimes still fear,

Where I lost him, why...

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Sorry buddy for what's gone on
If only you had actually known
How much that  I sacrificed for you
And this friendship that I thought was true

I honestly stood by you always
I was the friend that would have stayed
But in the end it was you that betrayed
Me in the most hurtful of ways

We had a history that we kept a mystery
Because it wasn't knowledge that we wanted freed
Why is that a...

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You're reaching out.

You're pleading.

Hands to the sky,

Heavy heart beating.

Knees to the ground,

And the rain falls.

Peace couldn't be found,

So you put up these walls.

In an empty broken place,

Never a smile on your pained face...

And you let the darkness sink in,

When all you needed was ONE friend,

But time and time, over again,

No one was there for you in...

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I never knew How beautiful brown eyes were until I stared into his. 

I never knew that I liked high defined cheekbones until I purposely made him laugh just so I could admire him. 

I never knew tattoos looked so good on caramel brown skin. 

I never knew I could fall in love with him. 

I never ever knew you could lie with someone who isn’t the one you love. 

I never knew yo...

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In the Springtime of my growing

The Summer of my knowing

Sown were the seeds for all my hopes and dreams

Through the rain and muddy water

There came up fragile flowers

To share with all my lovers

Where I expected trees

Being young, naive, and caring

I left my gate for sharing

Now trampled are my flowers

Trampled by my lovers

And the feet of many others

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to you,

i am nothing.

every memory

every laugh 

every smile

every tear

every mistake

every argument

every compliment

is nothing.

i could never compare

to weed

according to you.

i could never compare

to autism and down syndrome jokes

according to you.

my love for you

the fact that you're my best friend

the things you've help...

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I have lied for so long I cant remember the truth,

Even though this is something I should,

I have lied for so long it has become my norm,

But when the lies are exposed, it will be a man-made storm.

I have lied to the very people I pretend to be close too,

Only for me to fool them all,

I feel I have been betrayed by the very people that love me,

However after all this...

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He left 

He left behind his broken wife and his scared son

He left

He left us cold, all alone with no one 

He left

The vows, they meant nothing 

The promises, broken 

I just wish we meant something 

More than just empty words spoken 

I cried for days at a time 

My young son wiped every tear 

Leaving us was a crime 

And now, it's been 1 year 

An...

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Trust is an illusion. A systematically flawed word. A total forgery of a statement. Trust assumes infallibility - without errors, mistakes or fuck ups. How do we trust others when we can't even trust ourselves .. If the potential gain outweighs the potential risk we're likely to oblige. Whether the repercussions be momentary or long standing, we're going to indulge in whatever we feel is beneficia...

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(with apologies to Lewis Carroll)

‘Twas Brexit, and the slithy Gove
did frottercrutch in dwarfish glee;
he snicker-snacked the Camerove,
Machiavelliadastardly.

Beware the stabberjock, my son!
The empty eyes, the robo-glint!
who fellobrates the Murdocrone
the Ruperturtle übergimp!

He pallerised the BoJo cloon
they chummed upon their sunderbus
emblazoned it with fibberoons
and ba...

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Fracture

Betrayal stabs like a dagger,

Cutting slices of my heart into 10 million scattered pieces,

The open wound lingers eternally,

 Blood clots clump into a swamp of hate and anger,

The horizon does not rebirth the putrid, frozen tissue,

Feelings of filth and deceit seep through every cell of my dying body,

The bond that was once so strong rots into the sewage of what ...

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Eyes so dark like drowning in molten mystery 
Your stare shatters my resolve
A seraphic touch played its music on my skin
Your hands lead me into danger
A rhythmical voice that unburdens my heart
Your song confuses my mind
A remembered dream that torments my sleep
Your face impregnates the screen
Once my lover now my friend
Your silence screams at me
Betrayal bites the hand that fed...

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As you sit a top the branches
Of this ancient temple old and wise
Without a worry or a care
Shielding sunlight from your eyes
Can you see the woman down below?
Her face is full of fear
She has a tale she needs to tell 
But, not one you'll want to hear
No fairytale of love and hope
This memoir from within
But a nightmare from which she waits 
For her life to begin
You see, not long from...

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You want a bit of me, don’t you?

Although I have a previous owner

You are tempted; I could be yours

I warn you, I’ve been well worn

There are a few rips and tears scarring my history

I am faded; my image only just visible

But, you’re secretly impressed

You’ve been after one like me for years

Hunt me down

Make your offer

Try me

No need to wear me in

Soft, smooth,...

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Stop standing on my shadow

Why are you trying to hijack my dreams?

Do you want to be like me?

Do you want to stop me from being myself?

You say you want to inspire me

I feel you conspire against me

Two lovers of creativity

Your opinion of you, far exceeds

That of me.

Edging further forward

Trying to establish yourself

As the master of our trade

At m...

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SOOTHSAYER

Upon the Tiber’s sacred banks,
the black grape waters idly lap
like wine within a swirling cup,
the sleek and bloodied entrails spill
between my stiff and shaking hands
to roll and coil on sun baked dust.
I see a crown of laurels there,
all seeped in false and guilty tears,
and at its heart a bitter hate,
its innards twisted like this lamb.

The noblest Rom...

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EYE FOR AN EYE

So tell me, is it because I dared to do what I wasn’t meant to

that you turned against me?

Having feelings for my sworn enemy, doing the thing I was sworn

not to, my love turning me a traitor to my cause,

my religion and all my beliefs?

The way the cards fall are often the strangest hand of all.

To save an enemy from the grave, her grave,

...

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Edge

Gone is the mind where love and hope once played,
She feels the urge to paint a world with blood.
She watches moonlight dance along the blade.

She dreams a world of red in every shade,
Would banish all the rainbow if she could.
Gone is the mind where love and hope once played.

All trust now shredded, reason torn and frayed,
A hollow corpse where once a woman stood;
She watches moonlight dance along th...

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A slight departure from my more usual styles, an experiment in harsh revelation...

Stark Distillation

Wilt thou distill my bleating heart
To extract the spirit of love within?

Bottled in glass will it smell of pine
As just now it must within my breast

Take it then and rid me of its odour
Soured by the heat of your betrayal

Leave me no trace to fester as I sleep, but
Bury me deep...

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So you come to me and say 'I'm free'
And you claim all your words are true
Then you run from me, saying 'Set me Free'
Such confusion runs through you


Some years I spent in quiet retreat
Without such strife if incomplete
Dont play these games no more with me
Far better I'm left to rot in solitary


Each time you've run and turned again
And its truly sad to see your pain
But when ind...

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