I have lied for so long I cant remember the truth,

Even though this is something I should,

I have lied for so long it has become my norm,

But when the lies are exposed, it will be a man-made storm.

 

I have lied to the very people I pretend to be close too,

Only for me to fool them all,

I feel I have been betrayed by the very people that love me,

However after all this, I can't trust them, only let me see,

See the madness, the illness, of course, the pain,

Your closed ones supports you to help and offer you their strength,

But the people that are close to me, have more to gain when I am in pain.

 

People can be fooled so easily,

Give them a fake smile & a fake laugh,

After a while, a good lair has this fakeness as a well-trained craft,

People believe you are happy and contented in your life,

Only the one who suffers knows their fate and they will decide,

If this lying is worth, to keep a broken and depressing romance.

In the meantime, I will carry on with writing and be a freelance in writing to help others. 

 

After all the lying and discreet its time to face the crime,

The crime is I am a liar and in denial,

More I can say for my so called lover who touches me like I'm frail,

Time is a great healer they say,

However living where I live can be hard if your gay,

The network is tight and no-one understands me,

I need to open my painful eyes and see the key to my happiness,

My future depends on such things,

Instead of acting like a queen, I should act like a king.

 

I lied when I said I loved you,

I never did, some people thought you were the fool,

However that is not the case,

I was hurting through lying to you, I thought I held the ace card,

When it came to loving you,

We were both fools,

We were both in denial,

Knowing we will never walk up that aisle.

 

I would like to add on this final note to myself,

I don’t have to lie to anyone else,

As soon I will return and I will be back to my good old self,

Then see who is the fool,

As I know for a damn sure, It won't be me,

I will watch you bury yourself with your lies,

While I drink my milky cup of tea.