it used to be fine between us

sexual habits taken as read

a cup of hot cocoa after telly

then off up the stairs to bed

 

she never really bothered me

if I was tired, she'd go to sleep

me dropping off with frank relief

no need to count any sheep

 

Black Friday that started her off

sex manuals on-line, going cheap

eyes glowing, her juices flowed,

her demands leave me in a heap

 

she talks endlessly of positions

wears garish latex and leather

parades in silks and negligees

quite regardless of the weather

 

I failed to match expectations

she buys Viagra by the bucket

my dick's inflamed and swollen

I hardly know where to tuck it

 

lying there erect but scared stiff

waiting for any new manoeuvre

dominant as Queen Boudicea

my pleas simply fail to move her

 

she broke off last week, coughing,

but leaving me barely half done

the test showed a mutant corona

that soon put an end to her fun

 

exhausted, I've tested clear, a

swab at the local testing station,

thank heavens for the Chinese,

her self-isolation my salvation