How do you now touch me,
either heart or body?
With an ethereal tendril
sent by thoughts so gentle,
but no longer bound by
a soul in earth or sky?
How then can you hear my
anguished or imploring cry?
With no ears to hear me,
it resonates clearly
that no distant reply
implies a curt goodbye.
If you could see me now,
you know I keep my vow.
Love survives your demise
and defies all disguise
from you. Our hopes persist
as long as I exist.
Graham's coomments were great, very constructive. I sometimes get a blind spot for repeats so happy to take those on board. more than happy in fact - grateful!
Made a small tweak as a result, so anyone reading now, don't think Graham's gone nuts - he was absolutely right!
<Deleted User> (7073)
Sat 26th Jun 2010 18:20
I like the gentle nature of this Alison, Especially the lines 'With an ethereal tendril,sent by thoughts so gentle' A wistful poem I believe.
TC X
I liked the enquiring nature of this Alison. The last verse could be re-worked. I didn't like the survives, demise,defies and disguise quad much or the repetition of survive. Super sentiments though.
This is so touching, as well as being rhythmic and well-structured. Well done
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Val Cook
Tue 29th Jun 2010 13:36
A lovely gentle poem Alison,well done.