I want to live in a retirement village

 

I want to live in a retirement village

So I can reside in an elderly community

Affordable living, disability access, a garden gnome

And endless opportunity

 

Oh the dream, to have a little unit 

Purpose built for practicality

Close to a park and the local shops

What wonderful amenity

 

I want my big event of the day

To be taking out the bin

Venturing to the post office

 Or taking time

 To wipe lasagne off my chin

 

To no longer have to work

How blissful it would it be

To give less fucks about everything generally

And essentially be free

 

It’s said that old age is lonely

And I’m sure in many ways, it’s true

But I love the idea of living in fluffy slippers

And have absolutely nothing to do

 

And hell

If me or my neighbours got lonely

I could organise a retirement village house party or an older persons ‘rave’

We could drink tea or snort cocaine (personal preference)

And reminisce on the favourite bands of our time

From Aqua to Audioslave

 

We could have a regular games night

An opportunity to evoke our competitive edge

Starting at 5pm

To allow for a glass of warm milk

And some reading before bed

 

I know that people say this is the prime of my life

But I’m ready to to be an oldie now

Get my fluffy slippers ready and

Put me out to pasture

With the other sheeps and cows