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Eyes of the clouds

entry picture

The winds curve the trees here,

Oxidizing in the decades of rust

coppery branches sprawl,

Climbing clouds heavy and grey

carry rain somewhere else,

With hands in the soil and

the standing horizons of sarcen,

The land demonstrating its worth

as a part of a language,

The earth to be aware of itself

ploughing through time and history,

The buzzard boosting its wings

drenching its feathers in air,

Where tight rays of light print shadows

across the ancient field,

The land as seen from the eyes of the cloud. 

  

 

◄ As the night begins to dream

Watching a sunset from the downs ►

Comments

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clarissa mckone

Fri 21st Mar 2008 01:43

Hi Neil,
I enjoyed reading this poem and thinking about being a cloud and looking down.I think you have done very well with your poem.

darren thomas

Wed 19th Mar 2008 13:18

Hi Neal - what I enjoy about your work is the imagery that you use. It is superb. This, together with your technique of 'showing' the reader and not 'telling' makes for a two way experience between you, as the writer, and me as a reader.
You may want to consider correcting the inclusion of possessive apostrophes where they're not needed (it's wings - it's worth - it's feathers). While I accept that this does not jarr with some readers, it does with others and can be distracting. A truly great piece though. Well done.

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