Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

World peace

entry picture

Shall I bring the peace back to the world

Once again restoring the human glory

Will the man be better than his past 

Or will he return to his previous atrocity 

 

Do you wish to live in peace again

Or do you want to cry and sigh

Will the humans change their way

Bringing back the humanity high

 

What do you want O mankind fair

Peace for all Or doom be the sway

For once decide what's your desire

Else what's destined shall fall your way

 

Do you dream for the previous days again

Reliving the history with all sort of butchering 

Or do you dare to live a righteous life

Filled with God's glory, hearts humbly praising

🌷(7)

◄ Aazaad Titli

I Trust Thee ►

Comments

Profile image

Ghazala lari

Tue 11th Jan 2022 15:19

Thank you John Botterill, Adam and John Coopey for your wonderful feedback. Much appreciated.💐

Profile image

John Coopey

Thu 6th Jan 2022 17:20

A lovely idea but I'm not sure there was ever a time that we "noble savages" didn't conduct war.

Profile image

Adam Whitworth

Thu 6th Jan 2022 16:51

I'm going to stick my neck out and comment here, only because I think it's a good poem.

You mention "human glory" and "the humanity high" alongside "previous atrocity" and butchering". Your questioning about any restoring of past ways is not clear because both good and bad are included in all this.

My preffered way out of this quandary is to accept the good and the bad as integral parts of human nature. The questions then melt away. There has been good and bad in all societies and eras and that will always remain the case.

Of course this makes a lot of the pondering redundant. People simply take their turn on the wheel of fortune and some are luckier than others. Yes, some are nicer or nastier than others; so it has always been and always will be.

These are comments any decent editor would make, it's not meant to be easy but I for one would love a lot more of this detailed interaction on this site. As I say, I find it a good poem. I particularly like the way "God" is not explicitly mentioned until the final line.

The third verse is different from the others, more controversial and perhaps weakest. "peace for all or doom" is the problem already alluded to because it is not a real dilemma at all. Also the invitation to misunderstand destiny or fate in the last line is objectionable.

Profile image

John Botterill

Thu 6th Jan 2022 14:48

Lovely poem posing the key questions for us all, Ghazala.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message