charcoal toothpaste. 
teeth whitening strips. 
water on a bathroom floor muddied with muttered songs. 
cans of who and why on a windowsill. 
forehead sweat. made to stick fringes.
quick to anger. founded in a parent not so unlike. 
jerking awake. jolting asleep. comfort nul. 
calm mornings when the sun alarms. 
evil feelings when green and yellow lie dormant. 
stuttered uttered eye contact with lovers. 
blinking when needed, breathing when not. 
never having ever. 
wanting ever. 
then never wanting. 
funny me, funny i. 
i love who i am and hate who i can be. 
one day i’ll love my me’s