i remember i did, once. i must have wanted.

i want to look at him and not feel

hot hands, the fresh red blood

starting to spill from wounds i can’t see

yet still manage to keep opening.

i feel the shift, the crack, reduced to a moment,

oppressive heat pressing closer than skin.

take me into your arms, save me

from helplessness i dare not repeat.

i wish i could want it again.