How is it that one person can go from loving you to hating you overnight? 

Did all the time spent with one another not mean anything?did the words you two shared or exchanged have no meaning behind them? 

Was the thought of a future together not enough for you? 

Moments and memories shared with one another didn’t mean anything? 

For me I can say that what we had was real even if it was brief and even if it wasn’t forever. 

I was able to share my heart and soul with another. Maybe it was the wrong person but it felt so right. 

Looking back on the last seven years I guess you can say I finally realize the pattern. 

Being used hurt and taken advantage of by each and everyone of these so called men. 

It wasn’t just you that I loved because when I do love I give it my all expecting nothing in return. 

I can say with a clear mind and heart that not one of them deserved me. Not even you. I used to tell you I didn’t deserve you because I thought you were better than me. Truth is you could never be capable of being the man that I need. 

It hurts just the same don’t get me wrong and I will miss our conversations and I will miss the way it felt when we kissed but I refuse to sit and dwell on it. I refuse to give you power over me. 

I’m sure you hate me which is fine because I hate myself for falling for all the bullshit that you fed me. 

I was just another person in your life. 

However I do finally believe that you were the last mistake that I’ll ever make when it comes to dating. I had made multiple mistakes in that area but clearly I wasn’t ready to learn my lesson and that’s what I came to find. You were another lesson and I’ve learned from it. I will not look pass the red flags anymore. I will not put anyone before myself anymore and I will not love with my entire heart until someone proves that they deserve it. 

I thought you were the best thing that could ever happen to me but as I caught myself being upset I know in my heart that you needed to happen to me so I could understand that this idea I had of love when it came to us was nothing but infatuation. You said all the right things and confused me. I knew what I wanted I always have but you with your words and this facade about you it’s all a wall that you use to disguise yourself. You never wanted what I wanted and I know that now. Marriage children the happily ever after wasn’t you. 

One day it will be for me but as of now I need to heal my heart from letting myself down and my daughter. I need to find true happiness in myself and not someone who I think completes me. I complete myself and no one can do that for me. In order to attract what I want I need to be what I want in my own life first. 

All chapters eventually come to an end however this story of us is over and I’m ready to begin an entire new novel on the story of me myself and I.