A Larkinesque Souvenir of the Left Bank

(and of the Left Wing-only by permission of the cops)

They fuck you up, your mummies and daddies,

They make you mean, and moody blue,

Their fault you’re dummy-spitting saddies,

That life’s turned shit, oh yes, it’s true.

Some fuckers, though, will never learn,

Fooled by posh twats with Latin quotes,

Whose nanny’s teat’s their sole concern,

Lives hidden within their castle moats.

They’ve plannned to fail who will not plan,

Blame Johnny Forinner! not yourselves,

Buy that gammony gobshite’s scam,

Selling fucking unicorns and elves.

Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh