Of all the evil things we eat

The Champion must be

The one I cite as “Devil’s Food” –

The humble garden pea.

 

And it’s not me that judges this

In this poetic blog

But rather I shall leave it to

Lord Alfred, our pet dog.

 

At times we feed him left overs

From Sunday lunch or teas

Which he gobbles up right quick

But spits out all the peas.

 

Now Alfie is a friendly chap

Who makes dog chums right quick

He homes in on their arseholes

Which he will sniff and lick.

 

So if he’ll lick their blurters

And other bits as lewd

But will not touch a garden pea

It’s surely “Devil’s Food”.