A day out with Rufus last year mid-September

What events of the day will me and Alex remember?

 

(Dog whistle)

Ah that command Alex you make to get Rufus attention

which you use on me too like I’m in detention

It’s sweet in a way, this agreed upon sound

that I use on you too when you’re messing around

 

Remember last Autumn, our day on the coast

Made you breakfast in bed, full English and toast

Up nice and early, no lie-ins in bed

To get you up early, arise sleepy head

 

ALEX:

We’re leaving at midday you said but it’s always ME waiting for YOU

If I didn’t tell you to get a move on, we’d still be here a quarter to two

 

Me late, me late, I was ready half 8!

All washed, packed and ready for our day by the sea

Your watch must be faulty, don’t blame it on me

 

I give directions, you listen and drive

Rufus needs wee-wees, will we ever arrive?

Remember we got there, straight in the river he went

Rufus deep in the water much to your discontent ?

 

ALEX:

Rufus can go in the water, can run in the bog

He can go in if he wants nothing beats smell of wet dog

 

Wet dog, wet dog, a smell I can forget not!

The pong, the stench

I bet they could smell him a mile off over there on that bench 

We got to a crossroads, left: beach or right: cliff

You chose to go ‘right’ was that to avoid lover’s tiff?

 

ALEX:

I listened to Rufus, I heard what he told

(as Rufus) 'I don’t want to go on the beach Alex, in the sea I’d get cold'

 

Alex, if Rufus could speak, he’d utter the following words

‘Take me to the beach Lee where I can frighten those birds

Seagulls and children, I like to annoy

I’m fed up with dog treats and that rubber duck toy’

 

ALEX:

Rufus tells me the truth unlike what he tells you

He didn’t have his coat, scarf or mittens nor his dressing gown too

 

Alex, next minute you’ll be telling me Rufus has a jacket

Oh, silly me for forgetting. His Barbour, you packed it!

 

We took the right turn and made for the cliffs

Goodbye sandy beach and hello ‘What ifs’

I guess the cliff views were lovely, from the beach to the sky

Wasn’t it romantic up there darling?  We were up ever so high

 

ALEX:

Well, I guess so.  I was worried about Rufus getting too close to the edge

He was chasing rabbits by the cliff side too close to the ledge

I didn’t really think about it, I guess it was ‘nice’

I was more concerned about Rufus chasing rabbits and mice

 

‘Nice’ doesn’t say much; it’s ambivalent

Alex express how you feel man, express what is meant

 

ALEX:

Well I didn’t really think about it, I guess it was fresh air I suppose

It was rather windy up there, I could feel a chill in my toes

 

Alex, call me an old-fashioned romantic at heart

I was hoping for more than  just ‘fresh air’, ‘IT WAS LOVELY MY DARLING’, how about that for a start?

 

Now, do you remember these photos as we walked back to base?

Rufus stealing that boy’s ice cream, oh the look on your face!

 

ALEX :

That boy was a little brat, he deserved all  he got

Good for Rufus stealing his ice cream and gobbling the lot

That’s why I took him to the café to buy him some sweets

I remember that young couple giving Rufus some treats

 

Yes I remember it vividly too and what I recall most in the end

is you saying in dog voice Rufus have you got a new friend?

Dog mad, dog mad

That guy wanted to be his dog dad

He gave him some flapjack and a piece of jam tart

But when his girlfriend teased biscuits, I thought ‘Heavens, don’t start!’

 

I remember the drive home and Rufus snoring away

He must have been tired after his very long day

That’s how I like Rufus, he’s not as bad as he seems

Causing mischief in his sleep, chasing birds in his dreams

 

When wearing new trainers and I’ve trod in his shit,

I guess I should always remember that we only dog sit

Rufus is not actually ours, we have him on loan

He’s your work manager’s dog

What would happen if we had a dog of our own?

 

We have Rufus a few hours and sometimes a few days

His hair all over our sofa when Rufus overnight stays

When his owners collect him,  breathe a sigh of relief to myself

‘It’s time to go back to your people now’ I say to Rufus, back to your mummy and daddy, Patty and Ralf

 

Once Rufus has gone home, and we’ve cleaned up where he’s pooed

Our flat is eerily quiet  ‘miss you Rufus’ the mood

 

Every time we go to Sainsbury’s  and when we’re both in your car

Drive past his house, do the whistle, hope he can hear us that far

I remember this old dear down the bread and cakes aisle

I couldn’t say whistle not for her when she gave me a smile

When this silver fox gentleman heard me whistle, at the checkout,  he  gave me a wink

My whistle only for you Alex, no matter what others may think